I don't feel lazy, but because I'm not delivering as much I would I think it will look like I'm lazy. And also this feeling people will like me because I'm good worker and if I'm not doing this well because I'm stuck, how will I be worth.

I wasted my 2 yrs in result i failed my class 12. Eat that frog, journaling save me from again wasting my yrs.

@Yeowl Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am trying to do the same, training my mind to get going no matter what and maintaining balance.

Same, I struggled with procrastination for years. What I did whas I took the advice with my friend which is escape comfort zone. Even when I feel worried, lazy, nervous, I still do what I havd to do and I find it working. The only problem now is balance. I have to put in the right amount of effort to not get burnout.

Well I completely relate... felt as well at some point so exposed and vulnerable for having heard so concretely explained the problem I'm still struglin with at my 27s. This is now my morning meditation video, need to internalize all these points harder than those fears that won't let me do what I'd love to. 10/10 this video. Best of luck to yall

Having that exact experience myself right now. In that “stuck point” he describes, I always feel so alone on top of being trapped against a wall. Hearing him so perfectly describe the experience, I finally feel understood and not alone.

@Menestra One you're not alone, I'm a 39 year old wife and mother of two teens and I still struggle with this too! No one is exempt from having feelings of self worth or fear of failing. It all begins with an origin story of some trauma or hurtful event that perhaps happened to us when we were young that fed into the lie that we're not good enough or that our worth comes from performing or achieving. We then feed into this toxic narrative and these thoughts are the basis of our perceptions, emotions and behaviors. It takes spiritual guidance, self reflection and talking it out with someone, prayer or even to ourselves to help bring more awareness on reasons/feelings behind our actions. In situations like these, it almost always is fear. That Nelson Mandela quote he ended with is such a great quote to meditate on to help you stay focused. " May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears". Honesty with yourself about the reason behind your struggle is the first step, then being honest with your parents will be freeing because maybe they can support you along the way to help you remember your "why's" behind wanting to complete this. And this will also help you to realize absolutely nothing is wrong with you and you are not lazy--quite opposite, you're actually an overachiever who is just afraid of failure. Just know you are not alone and your worth is not based off this achievement, but on the wonderfully made person you were innately created to be.

I agree! I shed some tears too!!

I am crying right now tbh. I just feel frustrated about my course these past few weeks pressuring myself to study. But the more I plan my way of doing it, the more I procrastinate. I feel so anxious without knowing but now I feel kinda free that I literally cried. Do you guys have discord or can you update ur progress here in the comment section? I don't know how to open up this kind of topic to my parents or friends so hearing some things from someone who experiencing what I'm experiencing is kinda helpful.

eh, more complex than fear

My life in a nutshell! 🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️

Indeed Sabina - he explained it all so well, such a helpful talk!

indeed

So true 🥺💗💗💗

Same

So glad this was helpful. You say it so well! Compassion directed toward ourselves allows us to truly introspect and not merely judge ourselves. When we introspect with the aim of understanding we can gain insight and, often, even further compassion. Harsh judgements leading to feelings of guilt and shame may activate or energize us (through anger or fear) but they are not sustainable motivations that propel our best work and definitely do not contribute to feelings of accomplishment and worth. The antidote to powerful counter-motivations (like when you feel fear about writing and submitting your proposal) is to look inward and to identify the powerful approach motives that you feel (curiosity, interest about the topic, the desire to make an impact on the world, our desire to explore and grow and other positive reasons) and bring them to mind, keep them in mind so they influence your feelings and intention in the moment of writing. Another helpful strategy is to imagine not your ultimate reader of your proposal, but instead a supportive, welcoming reader that you can imagine would want to read your proposal. For instance, maybe you have a friend who is also interested in the topic or a family member. They are not experts and won't be overly critical judges of the text. Start with them in mind and write to them as your sole audience. Once you have a draft, then go back through it adapting for your purposes and for the ultimate expert audience with particular terminology, adding citations, etc. Much easier to write it in these "layers". Pay it forward. All the best to you. Nic

How are you doing now?

Privileged

Thank you for sharing this, it made me realise myself a bit more

Are we twins? Lol.

I remember one semester I took 2 trips to Home Depot to make sure that all of my door hinges in my apartment were made of nickel and matched. I couldn’t start working until everything else was perfect.

Knowing her has been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, it turned my life story to a success story. God Bless ROCHELLE DUNGCA-SCHREIBER

Honestly, she deserves more acknowledgements, just the same way I was going through comments and i saw this, I gave a try and it was quite overwhelming ever since!

ROCHELLE DUNGCA-SCHREIBER showed me great skills and knowledge about the market since I started trading with her. I enjoy full profits and easy withdrawal with no complaints, trade with the best I say

She is well known for what she does, when you search her name on your browser her web site is like the first thing that pops up..., on there you can find more info about her you can even shoot her a mail

Wow! love this. please, I'm interested, how can i reach her ?

Me!!!!

Thank you, Komal, for this useful--to me and others--note! You say this well and suggest a concrete strategy--returning to resources that put you in a more non-judgmental, accepting mindset on a regular basis. Just this morning I was writing up some materials exploring how our judgements about ourselves lead to strong emotions like shame or guilt which then become another obstacle we must overcome to start and complete our task.

Gelişme var mı?

same. I lost many opportunities bcs of this. And it's not getting away as you grow older. We do need to change our mindset, and keep our hopes not fears. Gudluck.

Me too

Thank u for the summary. Was searching for this in hte comments section

Take the 20 minutes and watch the video if you can. These points are not so different from what you’d see in any usual piece about procrastination, yet I got something entirely fresh from his presentation.

TED Talks can be so frustrating. You watched the whole talk and then you find out the whole thing just served the ego's speaker.

My reason for reading the comments was to find this. I knew someone would do it thank you soo much🥰🥰

I am worthy due to contribution ... All kind of participation

Glad it was helpful. Good luck with the presentations and grad school admissions!

@Zlata We are in agreement, I did not say it was "unlimited". You are making absolute statements about human capacities. How do you know this and how you do you know it with such certainty? Such statements are not supported by the psychological (and other) literature that I have read. I, too, have observed that there is little correlation between accomplishments and self-worth in important ways. This stands to reason, social esteem is only loosely related to one's self-appraisal. Pursuing external accomplishments for the purposes of bolstering SELF-concept is quite common, but fundamentally different than developing or having self-worth. "Connected" is a very general term and in its current use, so is "trauma" so I can't say much beyond "yes, it could be" and it probably is in some cases. But, there are many other conditions and sources of procrastination that a 20 minute video can't get into. This is actually a talk on Self-Worth Theory of Acheivement Motivation that uses procrastination to exemplify key parts of it. It is not intended as a comprehensive analysis or solution to procrastination for the full variety of expressions--though I am in the final stages of working on a course that does that.

@Nic Voge "...the virtually unlimited capacity of human beings to adapt and actualize themselves". The capacity varies very widely from human to human. It's not unlimited and often depends on many other factors beyond the capacity alone. In ideal world everyone should feel self-worthy regardless of their capacity and place in hierarchy. I observed that often self-worth has no correlation with accomplishments. Highly accomplished people can have a very volatile self-worth. Could procrastination be connected to trauma (meaning trying to avoid being re-traumatized after epic "failure")?

this is so insightful

@Stella Muamba Ngufulu it’s not that I don’t let my right to have a happy life take away my responsibility it’s that I don’t control the outcome of what happens to make the necessary changes. I was supported for the last 4 years by the NDIS now due to the pandemic they’ve cancelled my supports which I need to function and won’t allow me to advocate an appeal because they are not communicating with me. My whole life rides on having my full supports returned just to participate in society and they’ve taken away my advocates who could help me with this appeal and are dickking me around just like all the people who have sabotaged me in the past.

Thanks. Internalizing 2) will definitely lead to 1). Whether your professors think this way or not, you can continue to approach your learning and your life in this way.

@a4a_kash Good luck to ya too comrade

@Shravan I think you and I have been Procrastinating for too long and we have now become what is "Chronic Procrastinators". Its become a habit along with our Perfectionist trait. I think its gonna take a bit of time to get productive again. Don't push too hard or you'll be back to ground zero. Good luck to you, comrade.

@Brad Pitt I agree with ya. I'm not really gonna care about what happens with the grades anymore (I mean I'll still study but not with a burden but take it as my own intrest). And yeah I'll keep an eye on myself when I procrastinate. There is alot to learn from procrastination itself. Even if I procrastinate I'll work on it again and keep my mind fresh and I think it'll always give me a reason to work hard learn something from it again so that I don't forget what I've been through (I tend to forget somethings when I'm in a flow)

@Shravan we’re all in the same boat man. Just be aware of what is happening when you procrastinate, and use the community/people as your motivation to succeed. Do what you want to do because it will make their lives better.

That's literally what happened to me this year.

Yo that's me

Ays

Wow. Wtf. You're right

@Leonardo Wynn Widodo Good for you, Leondardo!

I realise that now and I’m going to change for the better. Thanks

@Sylvester True for you and so many of us. To protect or defend our sense of self is a very basic need--we all have it. Yet, to take on challenging tasks, to do things we've never done before, to reach and stretch these will necessarily invoke the possibility--and threat--of failing. It's risky to our self-concept and self-worth. On the other hand, if we don't take those risks, we often feel unfilled, that our potential hasn't been met and unworthy. We need to demonstrate our capability to ourselves and others--that is part of being human, and so procrastination (avoidance, hesitation) is also part of the human condition.

Then how did you get rid from this?

Exactly we are more than our abilities. And we should also condemn the ableist people in our society who are reducing others to their mental/physical abilities.

I agree. I'm worth much less than my abilities.

@A Tricht Yes, we can know something to be true, but not 'believe' it. Philosophers call such a belief and "alief". It arises from socialization and enculturation probably where we learn things without being aware that we are internalizing them.

Yes, this was the conclusion of the whole talk, I actually had tears because it hit a nerve.

@A Tricht Yes, it is an interesting fact that we can hold, that is have internalized beliefs that we are not aware of, or even that we disagree with. Conversely, we can know something to be true but not "believe" it. Many people say they know P=A=W to be untrue, yet have been conditioned to believe it. Changing a specific thought is much easier than changing the ways we think and changing our beliefs which are more like embodied thought-emotions. But, we CAN change our actions without changing our beliefs, and by doing so, we might change our beliefs. Keep at it.

I'm glad to know this was helpful and brought you some relief. Pay it forward, Priya. All the best to you. Nic

Thanks and I hope your daughter can use this video on her process of gaining greater self-awareness that all of us can--and maybe must--take. I'm taking a guess here, but one important idea that might help someone not immediately reject examining their own beliefs about achievement and self-worth is to point out that we can hold beliefs that we do not actually agree with explicitly. We can have internalized messages from society, school, peers, etc. that do not reflect our true values and thoughts and which we did not choose or reason ourselves into. Philosophers have coined a term for this, an "alief" a belief we may not be aware of, may not agree with, but influences our actions. Examining our "aliefs" with curiosity and compassion can bring us greater alignment between our actions, choices and values (important, positive beliefs).

Iker, that is an important insight you have made. You have both kinds of motivations and so can intentionally tip the balance by focusing on what is fascinating, useful and relevant about your work. In so doing, the effects of the (understandable) fears you experience will decrease correspondingly. At the same time, you can learn attention-directing and emotional self-regulation techniques to address those emotions which make doing our intellectual work more difficult.

I agreee , this was so accurate

Totally agree, needs to be shared, will help a lot of people, like myself.

​@Catherine Campion Thank you, Catherine. I'm glad the talk and these ideas articulated by my mentor, Marty Covington, are useful to you. What a powerful example you offer. With this framework we can reflect and actually SEE the beliefs and values operating in our environments, in our language, and in our thoughts which underlie our understandably protective actions. I hadn't thought about how this applies to theatre in particular, but of course, there are few if any more public performances which reflect on our ability. As you say, many educators, coaches, parents etc. are communicating these beliefs unwittingly and we learn not unconditional worth from these important figures in our lives, but conditional worth based upon performance and achievements. Thanks again, and best of luck to you.

@Nic Voge Thank you Nic for this wonderful talk. Listening to you speak about the self-worth motivation theory lead to a 'lightbulb' moment that stemmed back to my theatre training as a child. The 'ethos' that I would constantly hear was, "you're only as good as your last performance". This was something heavily engrained which I feel perfectly represents the p=a=w equation. If your performance was good, your ability was adequate and therefore, you were worthy. If you performed badly, your ability was not good enough, and so come the feelings of unworthiness. I'm sure many, if not all students believed this to be true. The constant cycle of pursuing perfection, a 'seamless' performance (whatever that means to the individual) to 'win' the reward or praise, and validation of the tutor/audience. It is sad that many wouldn't be aware of the kind of pathways and subconscious beliefs they are creating. As you say, having that awareness of those patterns, and focusing on the hope and not the fear is key. 😊

​@Irena Mohini Thank YOU, Irena for taking the time to share your response with me. I'm very gratified to hear that the talk helped you gain some understanding and help you take the direction that's beneficial to you. You raise an important point about how feeling depressed can both lead to and follow from procrastination. Negative feelings, critical self-talk and low energy can follow from our disappointment and even despair from not attaining what we set out to do can then contribute to subsequent procrastination. It's important to note that often depression is not the ultimate, but rather intermediate cause of procrastination. Tilting the balance toward productive engagement can help us both deal with depressive feelings and move forward on projects and activities that will bolster our self-concept. Best of luck to you, Irena.

So glad to know that--thanks for telling me! You've helped me achieve my mission. I hope you achieve yours.

Ditto. If I’m doing something for you it might well take a while if I’m trying to perfect every detail, which is usually the case. Daily life stuff coming and doing its thing doesn’t help, either, and it’s like that most of the time. Superficially all these variables just look like excuses but there’s a lot more heavy-lifting-and-grunting going on than I’d ever let on. I’ve never been fantastic at the art of time management per se but I have more than enough spontaneous ability to push through. I feel bad for keeping the other person waiting for so long if I’m helping them out but sometimes the longer things marinate the better the final result.

add a dash of high IQ

You are welcome! From this perspective, indeed they are. If we hold beliefs that our performance is equivalent to our worth as a person and that our performance is primarily due to innate ability, we can see that the stakes of not being 'perfect' (brilliant, excellent, a genius) are much higher than simply the task itself. What's at stake is our self-concept, which motivates us to seek "perfection" in order to protect that sense of self. If you've not heard the phrase "effortless perfection" (ie low effort, high ability explanation of performance) you might want to look it up as it may give you additional insight. Keep striving to understand--and accept--yourself as I believe, that is the path to a meaningful life.

So glad this talk was helpful, Sandra. You've said it so well. I had a similar reaction when I learned about Self-worth theory and the research of Professor Marty Covington.

It came just in hand for a bit more of rolls on my bed while listening to this

I still haven't finished

meta procrastination

@John Toye just finished mine after watching this

I was procrastinating when I saw this

We all are living on a prayer

Try to read Qur'an; there's one and only universal God in this world. May Allah guide you

We all Struggling with procrastination and our self worth

@Eka Puspitasari Hi! I understand that telling your parents how you feel can be dreadful, but my experience they won't love you any less that they did before. If they are startled, it's not because of you being a complete disappointment, but because they care. They come from a generation where emotional intelligence and communication wasn't something commonly taught or accesible, and they are often trying to do the best with the bad they have been given. You got this! If anything, you're struggles have helped you to be more thoughful and strive to live a more fulfilled live. That's amazing! Let's celebrate it by being more kind with ourselves. Just keep in mind that you're worth it, simply because you exist, and that's enough.

I wish i would have support from my parents.. But im too afraid to tell them that a lot of things going on, the fear of letting them down could also be the reason i procastinate.. I was an over achiever and finally that much pride exhaust me.. Here i am trying to reset my mindset and be more forgiving to myself and define my own happiness.. And that excitement is starting to come back.. I guess we need to forgive ourselves and not to project our fear to other people, lets move forward with positive attitude.. Celebrate your relationship with your children as much as you can, and appreciate the most little effort they made, and just grow together with them.. You guys going to have different pace but im sure it will head to somewhere beautiful..

So glad to know this talk provided useful insight. Sounds like tapping into your interests, passions, and the benefits of your tasks might be more productively motivating for you. The key is gaining self-knowledge and then turning that knowledge into actionable strategies. Figuring out what does NOT motivate us is crucial!

You've said it very well! So glad this talk was valuable to you and has stoked your passion. Yes, do keep going toward what you are passionate about achieving!

agreed

I totally agree. Most often it is just, "You are amazing! Go get it!" I love that he broke it down and gave specific tools and language. WINNER!

@Nic Voge Is there a self-worth theory book you would recommend that would be understandable/interesting for someone who is not in the field? Thank you for this enlightening speech.

Very true

@Jr Golub 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So glad to hear that! Good for you for implementing the ideas right away. Keep up your positive momentum!

Nivetha, I'm glad you found the talk relatable and helpful in understanding why you procrastinate. And, thanks for sharing the recommendation!

So glad this was helpful Lucas FC. Yes, this talk is based upon decades of research by my mentor and UC Berkeley professor, Martin Covington, so it's definitely analytical. Understanding the root motivational reasons why we procrastinate is at least as important as understanding how attention (monkey mind) negative self-talk and distortions, emotional reactivity, habits and environmental cues contribute to procrastination. Without that understanding we are likely to repeat the patterns of procrastination because we've not really understood why we are doing it. Best of luck in striving to understand your motivations more clearly and in alleviating the problem.

What an inspiring and profound comment--we are far more than our achievements and rewards! You are very welcome. To make changes in our actions often requires that we change our thinking, and not only our self-talk but in the ways we understand our own motivations and our procrastination. With the lens of self-worth theory we can look inward with greater clarity in better understand our actions as understandable. With this understanding and without judgement, we can often tip the motivational balance and get moving toward our aims. I'm gratified to know that this talk helped you do that. All the best going forward.

I need this to make a final move on something I’m helping someone out with but half of me just wants to take a long nap and dust it off in the morning. I’ll see how I feel after another coffee.

So, glad it was helpful, Emily. My mentor spent decades doing research to unravel the motivational puzzle of procrastination and explain it--and other motivational dynamics. I'm just translating his work.

Glad these ideas, from my mentor's research, are useful Neha. I hope you are able to build on that clarity.

​@E Groover Thanks so much Ellie for taking the time to comment and to return to these comments. High highlight an essential aspect of overcoming procrastination. Once we have a clearer understanding of the underlying motivational dynamics an our own patterns of avoidance, then we need to bring our positive approach motives and intrinsic motives back into our minds on a regular basis (e.g. 'replay' them). Motivations, to effect us, must be experienced, we must think and feel them, and this may require that we consciously direct our attention to them--as you have done. Doing so won't eliminate obstacles or totally prevent feelings of overwhelm, but it will prepare you better for dealing with them when they arise. I wish you well in pursuing your direction and path toward your desires.

I had to revisit this because it’s been a day sine watching this and it is still replaying in my head! Literally the most helpful, healing, and encouraging ted talks I’ve seen, right up there with Brene Brown’s talk on vulnerability. Thank you Mr Voge, you have helped give me the tools to lessen my suffering in life 👌

It's a more useful way to frame it

Thank you, Tommy. Every human being needs and wants to protect oneself. Perhaps some want to sabotage their sense of self, but that does not ring true to me. If we can all find ways to both protect our self-concept while taking the risks necessary to achieve our goals and avoid self-sabotage, then we will have adhered to the message from Nelson Mandela at the end of the talk.

@Murilo Perrone This is a useful description of what self-worth theory of achievement reveals about the underlying dynamics of procrastination which, as you suggest, many of us are not fully aware of. Gaining awareness of WHY we are avoiding, what's motivating us TO avoid (it's not merely that we are not motivated to engage in the activity or task), and seeing that this is understandable from a certain of view, is crucial to making long-term changes. I would point out that our avoidance can be about BOTH the performance and our sense of self-worth. They are not mutually exclusive. In fact, for many the recognition that they are fearful of how their performance will be evaluated can obstruct or conceal a deeper dynamic--namely, that we are ALSO protecting our sense of worth. For those who love the field they work in, they are often confused by their avoidance. They may love physics or playing guitar, yet put off preparing for a performance (e.g. an exam or recital) and even 'feel' at those times that they don't like these things. They are often feeling fear in the moment, associated with the implications or meanings to their sense of who they are, their capabilities and their worth. These considerations, the desire to protect these established meanings, can motivate us even more powerfully than our enjoyment or music or physics and even more than our desire to achieve goals, be successful, etc. Without looking deeper our actions appear nonsensical, perplexing and we often judge them and ourselves harshly leading to guilt and shame, which further obscure our ability to clearly see the dynamics operating. Looking beneath the surface with a stance of gentle curiosity can help us see new things and see ourselves in new ways which allow us to see new possibilities. Best of luck to you

Thanks, Heather. I've felt this stuckness many times myself and know that overcoming is aided by tapping into our deepest motivations and values while also using concrete techniques. Best of luck.

@𝔸ℙℝ𝟙𝕃★𝔽𝟘𝟘𝕃𝕊 So glad the talk is helpful to you. There is a lot of wisdom in what you right. Stepping outside of our situation and reflecting upon it is often difficult yet so valuable in understanding what is going on. Sometimes, too, we need a way of looking at our own actions and motivations which we get from others to bring clarity to what we see. I'm glad the talk helped in this way and I hope your comment helps others recognize that it is OK--and understandable--that our motivation changes and that we can learn to direct it anew. Taking the time and making the effort to understand ourselves in this way is, to me, an essential part of becoming wise. Best of luck in your business!

@Nic Voge hi, i was getting depressed about this and couldnt really identify or do something about it. I just lost motivation.. i used to be always on fire and suddenly i forgot how it felt to be motivated.. i knew all the words that describe how to do it from motivational books i read when i was starting out my bsnesses and now i just lost it. Your talk gave me a great insight, it hits deep and you are very much correct. We are not all wise enough to identify things when its happening to us, sometimes an idea needs to be planted on our minds to grow into something. Thnk u very much for this.. this is really helping me a lot sir.

It's just you only.

@Char Talks Hang in there and keep working on yourself. Self-understanding leads to self-acceptance which will reduce your suffering.

@Elena Gorovenko Thanks, Elena.

Thanks so much, Jose Luis! That's exactly the aim--to provide a lens that each of us can apply to looking inwards to see if we can understand ourselves and our actions better and in ways that help us take the actions that will bring fulfillment in our lives.

@J T. Procrastination happens a lot to people struggling with depression and anxiety. There's always this feeling of being damned if you do and damned if you don't. But, I often attribute the intense fear of failure with the cognitive dissonance of blowing things out of proportion or catastrophizing.

interesting you mention mental illness. I was procrastinating on an assignment really badly. I felt horrible about it and yet I didn't stop. I started thinking...procrastination must be some sort of a mental illness.

Agreed. Self-worth, when we look closely, is grounded in qualities other than mere performance on a test or in a class or even on the job. Those are not unimportant, but they are not who we are: We are not our grades, our worth is not our work. But, it can feel that way and so we act as if it were true. We get this message in our society, perhaps especially in school and work contexts. So, we have to actively work against the messages that condition us, but which we recognize are inaccurate. That's one step in overcoming procrastination--working to disconnect that association or equation of our work with our worth as human beings. Your friends value regardless of these things. Can we come to value ourselves the way our friends and loved ones value us?

@Nic Voge WOW It's really you 🤯 It was a great speech! Thanks a lot

So, glad it was helpful and that you are acting on it. All the best--Nic

😭😭same

I just Clicked it now 😂😂😂😂

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Me too. Lol, a few times

😅

Jui, I'm glad the talk was helpful and that self-worth theory has helped you understand your experience better and, I hope, reduce feelings of not being good enough. Understanding the underlying beliefs (that are communicated to us often through school, society, and family) that lead to those feelings and then directly challenging them can be an important step. Good for you for taking it!

Glad to be of help, Beth.

Powerfully brilliant and life-changing teaching... Thank you

I went to youtube to procrastinate... And the ultimate irony occurred... Touche!

Hi Annie. Your overcoming procrastination is lasting? if so, I guess your life has changed a lot during all these months.

@Anthony Gomez Thanks, Anthony! I learned almost all of this from my mentor, Marty Covington. He's the brilliant thinker (and wonderful person) who figured this stuff out through research. Glad to pay it forward.

@Nic Voge You're my hero Nic Voge!

Thanks, Angela. I'm glad you found it useful. I agree that Procrastination has a significant affective dimension for most people. What I've learned from working with lots of people is that it has cognitive and attention dimensions as well and there are also dimensions of motivation and beliefs. I think that this multi-layered nature of procrastination is why it is so hard to overcome. We can address it at one "level" say cognitive self-talk, but not at the emotional or motivational level--not to mention addressing our physical and social environments. For some, tackling procrastination with, say, emotional self-regulation techniques and tools, is sufficient, but for some they need some else, or some tools in addition to these. All my best to you.

You ever fix this?

ugh

omg, I'm struggling with design too. I think I know why, at the beginning we have not invest so much time and efforts. But when we are closer to the finish line, we have invested so much, that's when the fear kicking in and we start doubting ourselves.

I have been facing all these above mentioned issues since 2014.....I have reading alot of articles and applying many strategies but end up to be a failure for not being consistent

Thank you, Rita. Your enthusiasm is palpable! I am, in fact, an ordinary human being. But, I am focused on being a human being in a world where it seems harder and harder to do that. In any case, I've been teaching and giving talks long enough that I have developed skills that I can rely upon even if I'm nervous. My nerves show through in my grinning and not always being able to find the word I want. Fortunately, the work of my mentor, Marty Covington, is so unique and powerful that it can impact people whether the delivery is great or not. You raise a number of important issues and questions--in fantastic English. Not least the dissatisfaction we feel even when we "succeed" when we know we have not given our best effort or met our own expectations. One sure way to determine whether we are fear motivated is to gain awareness of our feelings when, for instance, we receive our grade. If we get a good grade and feel triumphant, proud, then we were probably motivated predominately by approach motives. If we get a good grade and mainly feel relief then this is an indication that we were motivated by avoidance or fear of a bad result. Relief is simply the feeling of an absence of a negative force or feeling, not a positive feeling. When we are motivated to avoid failure and we do then we understandably feel relief. A problem with that is, relief is not motivating for the next task or challenge in the way that success is and we don't build confidence or efficacy. The result is that we often feel burnt out because we are not being re-energized after lots of effort even when we succeed. If we are only expending energy and not replenishing it, ultimately we will get exhausted, finding it that much harder to motivate ourselves. I can share some more strategies--I do workshops on this topic that addresses many other dimensions of procrastination besides beliefs about self-worth and ability, including cognitive, affective, behavioral, and social dimensions and strategies that correspond to each area. But, i would need to know more about your particular patterns of procrastination to be able to recommend efficacious strategies. In the meantime, let me see if i can help you maximize the benefit of strategy #2, identifying and listing out and referring to all of your approach motives. Here are some questions that I used to help students do what I call "motivational stacking" that is stacking up all the reasons and motives on top of one another to create a ladder to get over the wall of procrastination. Start with these questions, but the idea is to write out and then frequently remind yourself of any positive reason for undertaking the task you are having difficulty tackling, so if you think of motives beyond these categories write them down, too. 1) How can undertaking this task help you be successful in your role (e.g. student, job, parent) now and in the future? 2) How is it important or valuable to you? How is it relevant or useful to you? 3) How can it contribute to your growth or self-improvement? 4) How is it meaningful, fulfilling, or satisfying? 5) How is it fun, interesting, exciting or otherwise enjoyable? 6) What other benefits would accrue to you and others you care about if you completed this task? Once you have this list. Identify which items make you FEEL most motivated. Type them into your phone as reminders. Print them out on a card or piece of paper and review them regularly. Read them into a voice memo and listen to it. Visualize yourself experiencing these benefits. Talk with other people about these positive reasons and ask them to help remind you of your authentic motives. Focus on those reasons that will be beneficial to you regardless of the grad/evaluation. Let us know how it goes.

You say it well, Kim. Our need for self-preservation, our need for acceptance and belonging are often the root causes for the difficult emotions and worrisome thoughts that lead to agitation, loss of focus and a tendency toward avoidance which we can see if we introspect on our thoughts and feelings. Accepting ourselves, being compassionate to ourselves as we are to those we care about is, indeed, a crucial step. But, even if that is not currently possible for someone, there are steps to take to get unstuck, take actions, move toward valued ends and complete tasks. The experience of this process can actually help us be more accepting and feel more empowered. Thinking in terms of doing that ONE thing (not ALL) we value today can help us get started (make it small). And do the same tomorrow. And the day after. Best of luck to you, Kim, Be well.