Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth | Adia Gooden | TEDxDePaulUniversity

  görünümler 1,388,096

TEDx Talks

TEDx Talks

5 yıl önce

When a person demands perfection of herself or himself, anything less can feel like failure. Adia Gooden knows this from experience. In addition to her work as a staff psychologist at the University of Chicago, she’s learned in her own life how to break negative thought patterns and live more freely. She shares those lessons in her talk: “Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth.”
Gooden is a licensed clinical psychologist. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Stanford University and her doctorate in clinical community psychology from DePaul College of Science and Health in 2013. Gooden is currently a staff psychologist and coordinator for multicultural outreach and support at The University of Chicago’s Student Counseling Service. In this role, she provides individual, group and couple therapy to undergraduate and graduate students. She also conducts outreach workshops for students of color and continuing education training for clinicians on working with black clients. Gooden authors a blog focused on promoting mental health among black women. She speaks and writes about black women, black couples, black youth and mental health. Gooden is a licensed clinical psychologist. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Stanford University and her doctorate in clinical community psychology from DePaul College of Science and Health in 2013. Gooden is currently a staff psychologist and coordinator for multicultural outreach and support at The University of Chicago’s Student Counseling Service. In this role, she provides individual, group and couple therapy to undergraduate and graduate students. She also conducts outreach workshops for students of color and continuing education training for clinicians on working with black clients. Gooden authors a blog focused on promoting mental health among black women. She speaks and writes about black women, black couples, black youth and mental health. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Tianna 4 yıl önce
1. Forgiveness 2. Self acceptance 3. Be there for yourself 4. Connect with supportive people
Jewishbride 4 yıl önce
In Jesus Christ his name and Jesus Christ his blood everyone deserves it's own self worth: Amen!
Diego Ambrósio
Diego Ambrósio 3 yıl önce
Thanks for summing it up!
SmexyangelMike 3 yıl önce
@Art Ad Nauseam lol you have a beautiful response
SmexyangelMike 3 yıl önce
Also may I say I think I was divinely guided here 👏
ca mez
ca mez 3 yıl önce
It makes me a little sad to see a lot of comments mentioning the speaker's looks, that's she's beautiful. And of course, yes, she really is. But it sort of takes away from the point she's making, and also reinforces this thing that we as women keep doing to ourselves and each other and then in our dark moments feel bad about: equating physical appearance with inherent goodness, like, "How could she have had low self-worth when she's so beautiful?" Well, that's just the point. If we say beautiful equals worthy or even partially equals worthy, then we've missed the point of "worthy" and are perpetuating its being tied to actual traits.
Charmaine Phasoana
Charmaine Phasoana 3 yıl önce
Wow, I never thought of it that way. Your message is powerful!!!!
jeans 3 yıl önce
Dude yes, so on point. The current problem with low self-worth is that our current culture ties value to some trait, like beauty or intelligence. When your sense of self worth is tied to something else like that, you're left on edge all the time, feeling like you need to hold onto that trait, and that without that trait you are nothing. True self-worth is knowing that you could lose everything society considers valuable, and still have worth. It's a source of true strength and stability. Beauty has nothing to do with it.
J Rod
J Rod 3 yıl önce
Nobody Asked
Naira Bee
Naira Bee 3 yıl önce
J Rod yet here u are commenting regardless so🤷🏿‍♀️
Jane 3 yıl önce
Completely right. I’m so glad you said that
KaiIchiRu96 Yıl önce
I wanted to share this with you guys: In German we have the Word “self-worth” and a separate word for the thing, the feeling Adia mentioned- like a ">sense< of self-worth”. Because our own self worth never changes, just our own sense or feeling towards it. :) Have a good journey, folks We’re all in this together 🌻
aydenreda 8 aylar önce
SJ G 5 aylar önce
Anamika 3 aylar önce
I don't know why that made me cry . It's a shame to know this so late . Thanks
c.00-qe 3 aylar önce
welche wörter meinst du?
Spice Gyal Lili
Spice Gyal Lili 3 aylar önce
Powerful ❤
Alyssa Travis
Alyssa Travis 4 yıl önce
This video had me sobbing for a full 15 minutes. She's incredibly emotionally literate and a wonderful speaker. I also loveee that she's from Chicago!
Beverly Ochieng
Beverly Ochieng 3 yıl önce
Oriana Galardi-Este
Oriana Galardi-Este 3 yıl önce
Probably because this is the most important lesson and work anyone can do. Once you've developed that intrinsic self-worth, you finally have the FREEDOM you've been hungering for!
ylsflv 2 yıl önce
Same girl, same.
Jij8iji 2 yıl önce
Very good speaker indeed. You can only listen to someone who speaks the language of your heart and her words were the best at reaching my heart out of multiple videos I’ve been watching on this topic for almost months now. Maybe speeches are better sources of information than a TRshowr speaking to a camera, grateful I got to see this video!
Mikiko Kitamura
Mikiko Kitamura 2 yıl önce
Me too! I’ve never had such a strong emotional reaction to a Ted talk before
Megan Brown
Megan Brown Yıl önce
*EDITED* 19 months and still fighting! The best decision I ever made after 20+ years of addiction- Fighting addiction for many years and finally come to accept myself flaws and all. Made a step to better MYSELF 147 days sober and in love with learning I am worthy and beautiful…I am learning each day self love is far more important than any love from a relationship. Thank you for this truly inspiring speech 💜🙏🏼 (UPDATE) I love all the msgs and support I have been receiving!! I am 11 months sober today! UPDATE! July 10th 2022! 379 days sober today! So grateful and so glad I am finally living the life I’ve dreamed of! Thank you to everyone who has been sending msgs
Tiffany Ramsingh
Tiffany Ramsingh Yıl önce
You got this 💙
Flavia Hidalgo
Flavia Hidalgo Yıl önce
So proud of you! 💙 you’re on the right path.
Megan Brown
Megan Brown Yıl önce
6 months still going strong!
Tiffany Ramsingh
Tiffany Ramsingh Yıl önce
@Megan Brown keep going 💙
Megan Brown
Megan Brown Yıl önce
@Tiffany Ramsingh thank you! I’m not giving up
D.A. Bird
D.A. Bird 3 yıl önce
I'm trying to live a life that expresses me rather than seeking to justify me. It's such a brutal habit to break. Thank you for all your hard work!
Sadé Anthony
Sadé Anthony 2 yıl önce
Such a good way to put iy
sarah kh
sarah kh Yıl önce
Omg phenomenal
c hanson
c hanson Yıl önce
I found this statement very relatable. I wish you success in trying to break the habit &/or making peace with it : ))
Linda 10 aylar önce
@Sadé Anthony uh
metasebi 2 yıl önce
SUMMARY of her 4 ways of cultivating unconditional self-worth: 1. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Acknowledge the situation that led to your mistake and say „I forgive me“ in an honest and kind way. 2. Practice self-acceptance. Let go of your thoughts how you think you should be. Embrace the things you like about yourself as well as the things you think others may not like. You are worthy just the way you are. 3. Be there for yourself when life gets rough. Acknowledge your emotional pain and say nice things to yourself. 4. Connect with supportive people.
Jollof 10 aylar önce
DaPenguinNinja 10 aylar önce
Thank you
Cora Léveillé
Cora Léveillé 10 aylar önce
Thanks you 💐🙏🏾
OneInEuniceson 9 aylar önce
Thank you
Forbiddencolours 4 yıl önce
Such an eloquent and captivating speaker, you can see the compassion and wisdom in her eyes. Her patients are really lucky, but hey, now so are we, thank you for sharing this wonderful and insightful talk.
Fit Outside the Box
Fit Outside the Box 4 yıl önce
Wise talk & wise woman. I love this term *unconditional self worth*! If you don't have self worth, having self-esteem is going to be quite an impossible feat.
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 4 yıl önce
Thank you!
Honey Cinnamon 1
Honey Cinnamon 1 4 yıl önce
Fit Outside the Box with Karla trying to embrace myself and change my thinking
I ROAM ALONE 4 yıl önce
Nica abs
Noodlenado782 3 yıl önce
Thanks, I needed that
Ashley Daniels
Ashley Daniels 4 yıl önce
"What would you stop doing if you knew you were already worthy?"
Oriana Galardi-Este
Oriana Galardi-Este 3 yıl önce
What would you stop doing Ashley? This is what I stopped doing once I fell in love with myself at a soul level: I stopped people pleasing, I stopped overgiving, I stopped getting offended easily, I stopped taking things personally, I stopped craving love, approval and validation from others, I became super picky about who I spend my time with, I stopped trying to be perfect, I stopped being afraid of failure and rejection, and I stopped feeling anxious all the time! Nothing is more freeing than developing intrinsic self-worth.
Bethia Triggs
Bethia Triggs 3 yıl önce
@Oriana Galardi-Este everything you just said you stopped doing is every single thing I do but I don't know how to stop. I feel empty and undervalued and I don't know how to change.
suset 3 yıl önce
@ Oriana Galardi-Este...your self love goals are all that I am also aiming for atm...would you mind sharing the things you did in your journey to self love?...I’m working on myself so anything I can benefit from would greatly appreciated, Thanks
Linda Gitau
Linda Gitau 3 yıl önce
People pleasing and wanting to be liked. Those are demons that kill me!!!
Ashley Daniels
Ashley Daniels 3 yıl önce
@Oriana Galardi-Este Yes! Different book, similar story. The first thing that comes to mind- I would stop letting depression rob me of my essence. All of the things you named as well.
Clarissa Mitchell
Clarissa Mitchell 4 yıl önce
This kicked me in my gut...had me crying. I better understand myself and feel better prepared to live my best life. Bless you, Adia.
Oriana Galardi-Este
Oriana Galardi-Este 3 yıl önce
Sending you a big hug Clarissa!
SueVee GrooVee
SueVee GrooVee 2 yıl önce
i cried too girl!!
hellogoodbye 2 yıl önce
She gutted me and I'm forever grateful
ylsflv 2 yıl önce
Bawling like a baby rn
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 2 yıl önce
I'm so glad this resonated with you and that it has prepared you to live your best life!
M 4 yıl önce
"Be there for yourselves when life gets rough" - Words of Wisdom :) I really need to hear this now. Thank you Adia!
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 4 yıl önce
You are welcome! So glad that resonated with you!
S Green
S Green 4 yıl önce
Self-worth is truly a continuous process. I've been working on mine. When the question is asked, "Why are you still single in your 30's?" Society is trying to put me in a box. My self-worth journey is helping me to come out of that box.
Created To Teach
Created To Teach 4 yıl önce
gloriamariadc 2 yıl önce
Amen. Self worth is a continuous process like u said.. like taking vitamins & exercising all our lives. & adding the self-worth self love vitamin everyday before starting th day🙏🏻✨🙏🏻✨
S Green
S Green 2 yıl önce
@gloriamariadc very true. As you take the "self-worth vitamins", do you ever get that void feeling?
S Green
S Green 2 yıl önce
@Oriana Galardi-Este where?
Ripple Inspirations
Ripple Inspirations 9 aylar önce
I had a best friend who passed away already. She was that person who taught me the difference between self worth and self confidence or self esteem. Thank you so much for this inspiring talk, Adia. This is so timely and truly helpful for a course I am making for teens. Love and light and blessings.
T H 9 aylar önce
Sorry for your loss, may you find peace in your grieving.
Atlanta718 4 yıl önce
1. Forgive your self Acknowledge and accept your mistakes 2. Love yourself We try to fit the mold, embrace your quirks. 3. Be there for yourself during tough times. I see you, I'm here. Comfort and kind words 4. Connect to others Challenges will come Dance floor - 💃💃💃
Katherine Hague
Katherine Hague 4 yıl önce
She's gorgeous, extremely inspirational, and holds her self in away that you can feel her inward self worth. Thank you for your talk. All women should hear this :)
Charmaine Phasoana
Charmaine Phasoana 3 yıl önce
That's what I immediately saw. I'd love to get to that point!!
Robyn Dismon
Robyn Dismon 3 yıl önce
@Charmaine Phasoana You WILL. You r well on your way.
Oriana Galardi-Este
Oriana Galardi-Este 3 yıl önce
gloriamariadc 2 yıl önce
Yes, agreed.
ExplodingTrujillo 2 yıl önce
The single most life changing moment for me was figuring out that no matter how many people I treat well or as many friendships as a gained meant nothing if I didn’t love myself. Everything is connected to that, I like how she put it as self esteem and self love are two different things, I had a constantly shifting self esteem and criticized myself constantly. Of course people in highschool werent the greatest and will amplify this by pointing out all your shortcomings. Self love should be at the very core of yourself not pleasing others.
Yarilza Cabrera Peralta
Yarilza Cabrera Peralta 3 yıl önce
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a baby. With love.
Anoop Gopalakrishnan
Anoop Gopalakrishnan 2 yıl önce
Thank you, I think that tip is a lot closer to truth
y.shahin Taj
y.shahin Taj Yıl önce
True, thankyou
Mira_J76 Yıl önce
This made me smile a smile you di when you see a baby
don’t even
don’t even Yıl önce
that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever read
HabitualLover Yıl önce
But not if you're one of those people who aren't even nice to babies. Phew, some of the sad views toward even babies that I've seen. Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to someone you actually like. That should do.
Michelle Forte
Michelle Forte 4 yıl önce
This was me; and still me, but I am working on it. Self-love is so important.
Antoinette Gross
Antoinette Gross 4 yıl önce
Me too and am 43
Created To Teach
Created To Teach 4 yıl önce
It is, Michelle you are worthy. You are lovable, self- love is sooooo important. Please keep learning to love yourself. I am. You're more than worth loving yourself 💕🤗❤
Michelle Forte
Michelle Forte 4 yıl önce
@Created To Teach Thank you, You are as well. Angela! Let's continue to self love ourselves..
Created To Teach
Created To Teach 4 yıl önce
@Michelle Forte indeed. May your journey in, through, and to loving yourself always be sweet! May God bless you!
Michelle Forte
Michelle Forte 3 yıl önce
@Created To Teach Thank you.
Adrian Opper
Adrian Opper 10 aylar önce
I wish we could broadcast this daily everywhere. This is so necessary to hear on the daily. Thank you for putting this into our world ❣️
hellogoodbye 2 yıl önce
You gutted me cause you spoke to my entire life. We've had a similar journey in youth and young adulthood, but I haven't yet gotten myself out of the rut like you have. Still chasing the feelings of grief from the failure of my last relationship and career direction which has been paralyzing me emotionally for over a year. I can't seem to shake the feelings of shame and regret. Forever grateful for you. Thank you
L D 2 yıl önce
You’re worthy just the way you are! You are beautiful 😍
Laura Diskin
Laura Diskin Aylar önce
This has been enormously comforting. I was at a low ebb desperate for dome message of kindness. This talk has allowed me to be kind to myself. It really struck something in me. Very powerful
ylsflv 2 yıl önce
"As soon as I reached the bar I had set for my worth, it was raised" goodness, this struck me
Viktor Lindqvist
Viktor Lindqvist 2 yıl önce
I've never believed in the concept of perfection. I had a strong sense of self-worth as a child, but lost it growing up to be a teenager and then to be a man. As a child I wasn't confident per se, I just didn't doubt my own worth. I could look at my faults and with a cheerful smile say; "Yup, I'm short and weak.". I was emotionally open and available to those around me, for all the good and the bad it brought me. Now I sit here closed up and stunted behind my computer screen. I can still say "Yup, I'm short and weak.". But it isn't with a smile. I still am not confident, but now I hardly believe in my own self-worth. Rationally I know it is there, emotionally I don't. Why even write this comment? It doesn't solve the problem, but I do believe it is somewhat vindicating to put yourself and your issues out there for the world to see. And looking at myself I do suppose I still possess that feeling of self-worth deep down, it is simply hidden under a bush of twisted thorns. In a way it is equal parts frustrating and relieving. Knowing it is there, but unable to reach out due to a fear of the pain.
C C Yıl önce
I see u, Viktor.
Yellowblanka Yıl önce
Eh, everybody has flaws - I'm 6'2" and fairly muscular, and always felt I was fairly strong, but I've been self-conscious to varying degrees my whole life, never quite fit in etc. - you have worth, you have something to give, you just have to forge a mental machete and hack through those thorn bushes.
Joe Carducci
Joe Carducci 11 aylar önce
What do you think was the moment that changed it for you or the time that changed it for you if you did have it and then you lost it?
Etumnu Matthew
Etumnu Matthew 3 yıl önce
A beautiful piece on worthiness. I choose to forgive myself for past mistakes. I am wonderfully made, accept myself wholeheartedly. I'll keep being there for me even when life gets tough and i will connecting with supportive friends and family on this journey of cultivating genuine self worth. Thank you Adia Gooden, i appreciate your words so much.
Chidinma Anukam
Chidinma Anukam Yıl önce
So inspiring. Thank you.
tekeya radford
tekeya radford 3 aylar önce
I love this talk as this topic needs to be discussed more among all age groups and cultures
Jennifer 4 yıl önce
Really enjoyed this and makes me feel better knowing Im not the only one going through this. Throughout my life, I've always felt like something was "wrong" with me. That everyone else was "normal" and I was always trying and failing to be normal. At 26, I still feel this. But I'm understanding everyone is going through something. We are all different and there is no "normal ". I'm introverted and shy and feel the most unworthy when Im around loud and fun loving people. I feel like im not good enough to be around people like that. I want to have unconditional self worth so I dont have to experience the pain of feeling like Im not good enough anymore. This is the most painful feeling.
MsElmicky 3 yıl önce
Im with you ❤
Yellowblanka Yıl önce
I feel you on that - it might make you feel better to know that there are probably plenty of other people (myself included) like you. You just do you.
Jennifer Yıl önce
@MsElmicky ❤
Jennifer Yıl önce
@Yellowblanka I posted that a few years ago and I've been doing a lot of work and healing and it's helped me a lot, though I definitely still struggle at times too. Thank you for your kind words and lots of love to you my friend ❤
John Rae Guimbungan
John Rae Guimbungan 4 yıl önce
*If I'd be perfect, then I'd be happy* raise ya hands if you knew this feeling
kimberley Choudhury
kimberley Choudhury 4 yıl önce
embrace imperfection Heaven is the only location for perfection . the only thing perfect is the word perfect be balanced n focus on outcomes not details
macprincess2 4 yıl önce
@kimberley ChoudhuryThank you for this Anon!
Basia Ramona
Basia Ramona 4 yıl önce
Nobody's perfect - that's why we are original and not boring😀
Sasha viti
Sasha viti 4 yıl önce
How do u measures “ perfection” ?
4 yıl önce
*I take up the challenge and embrace myself! What a timely video! She's so full of wisdom.*
britta jaensch
britta jaensch 3 aylar önce
This contribution by Ms. Gooden is 5 years old - and as up-to-date as can be. Thank you for sharing, Ms. Gooden.
Felicia Chumley
Felicia Chumley 4 yıl önce
Listening to her speak made me look at myself differently. I recently went on a girls trip and as I looked at everyone in there bathing suits and the confidence that they had made me feel not as worthy. I instantly started thinking critical of myself and thinking about all of the things I needed or wanted to change about myself. I felt insecure at times on the trip and I did not understand why I had felt that way but now I understand that I did not feel worthy of myself. Watching this today really helped realize that I had low self-worth and I need to practice the 4 steps to cultivate my self-worth. This video was awesome.
Aishah B
Aishah B 5 aylar önce
What a beautiful message! Thank you for sharing pieces of yourself in support of those struggling with the same.
Miriam  Tachiwona
Miriam Tachiwona 3 aylar önce
I wish l had seen heard this earlier.... But l believe it's never to late to build my self-woth. Thank you so much for this life changing message 🥰
Katerina Alegria
Katerina Alegria 4 yıl önce
Wow. Profound. My heart feels peaceful remembering I don’t have to do anything other than BE. Thank you for your realness and unconditional self love.
Oriana Galardi-Este
Oriana Galardi-Este 3 yıl önce
This is the greatest truth of all. And is the key to your freedom!
Rachael Valdivieso
Rachael Valdivieso 8 aylar önce
This was SUCH a lovely eloquent insightful talk. Incredible. Thank you Adia. You brought up many great points..
Chrystal Briceno
Chrystal Briceno 2 yıl önce
Thank you for this video. I myself have been going through major transformation. I have learned that my self worth comes from the fact I am a divine being. I am my soul, not my body. And my soul comes from God. And that is all the worth anyone could need.
Mrs. T
Mrs. T Yıl önce
Transformation begins with revelation, and revelation comes from God. Blessings to you on your journey. 👣
sacred.eternal8 10 aylar önce
mari f
mari f 4 yıl önce
1. What would you find the courage to do if you knew you were worthy? 2. What would you dare to dream if your self worth wasn’t at stake? 3. What would you stop doing if you knew you were already worthy?”
M J Yıl önce
Sometimes you are born in a situation where others receive favour without effort, while you have to work for it. That makes you link your worth to your accomplishments
Stefanie Chan
Stefanie Chan 4 yıl önce
All I want to say is... thank you... Right now I'm in a litteral bad place with almost no support.. I truly needed these words and I'm so thankfull you put them out in the world! Thank you so much!!
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 4 yıl önce
You are very welcome!
Georgie Henderson
Georgie Henderson 3 yıl önce
Hope you feel better, Stefanie! I encourage you to love yourself, because I need to do that, too. Be gentle and kind to your self, dear. When I was younger I went to anonymous self help groups, it was extremely helpful for me.
Oriana Galardi-Este
Oriana Galardi-Este 3 yıl önce
I hope you're in a better place today Stefanie!
Michelle Sierra
Michelle Sierra 3 yıl önce
Adia Gooden Thank You So Much. Your speech so beautiful. Powerful. Life changing. This is exactly what I needed at this point of my life. You do not know how much this helped me. Thank you. Bless you. ❤️
Rose Taniya
Rose Taniya 2 yıl önce
I hope it's better for you now
Robin Nilsson
Robin Nilsson 2 yıl önce
Her words are telling people to feel better, but her life and her current success is an example of how there's nothing more motivating than low self worth, to some individuals. She has a PHD and is giving a ted talk.
kevin collazo
kevin collazo 5 aylar önce
No other Tedtalk has made me cry, but this one such a incredible speech.
Anya Nicole Burnett
Anya Nicole Burnett 4 yıl önce
Such a profound topic. Thank you to Ms. Gooden for bringing this topic to the Tedx Talk stage. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Bravo
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 4 yıl önce
You are welcome! Thank you!
e luz
e luz Yıl önce
Thank you for this! It gives me hope💜 I was not aware how low my self worth was until I started therapy. For many years I was on autopilot not knowing who I was and molding into a person others wanted me to be. (People pleasing) But I am now working on accepting myself, flaws and all and not having to be "perfect". It's been a process but I am hopeful and praying that I will one day get to that point and I wish the same for everyone else struggling with this.
Ariel Sagastume
Ariel Sagastume Yıl önce
Finally tried cooking for myself today to feel like I could do it! My PTSD doesn’t have to be so debilitating! Woohoo for self worth!! Thank you so much for motivating me as I cooked!! 🥰🌺🐕 Aloha from Hawaii!!
Koishi Yıl önce
Congratulations friend! May you keep making lots of amazing meals
Affirm with NANI PBE
Affirm with NANI PBE Yıl önce
This speech was made years ago yet still rings true to this day. This was much needed, God Bless her🙏🏾👏🏾‼️
Sandra Eriksson
Sandra Eriksson 3 yıl önce
She has a beautiful interior that projects through a gorgeous exterior. But her mind and spirituality are the traits that should be praised, in fact let’s praise all that she is☀️✨
Dawn Thompson
Dawn Thompson 4 yıl önce
We live in a perfectionist society. That can definitely drive anyone crazy. I can relate to this. Now...I dont aim for perfectionism, i dont expect that from myself, i always leave room for failure. Yet...i try to be the best version of myself.
Yellowblanka Yıl önce
That's really the best way - don't compare yourself to others, just enjoy life and do your best to improve where you need to/can.
farha zeba
farha zeba Yıl önce
Thats wonderful
T H 9 aylar önce
Most societies struggle with this, it is a very human condition. Part of it is on us and part of it is on parenting not being the best it can be.
Dee Light
Dee Light 4 yıl önce
I'm so glad you're talking about this topic. Many more people don't feel worthy than we'll ever know. I too never felt worthy or good enough. Not anymore...I love myself! She's right on point.
Earthwit 4 yıl önce
It is strange to see a such beautiful and smart woman talking about herself as a person that used to feel unworthy! That explains a lot of things about our sick thoughts and considerations of ourselves. Thanks again for this great speech.
gloriamariadc 2 yıl önce
orangemoon 2 yıl önce
Also says alot about the colorism instilled in the values of this country, "Would my brown skin and kinky hair be accepted"
Yellowblanka Yıl önce
@orangemoon I'm a white male and beauty is beauty, it comes in different forms. Not to take away from her point about self worth being innate, but she is gorgeous, and I think most men who aren't diehard racists would agree.
welcome to the crewniverse
welcome to the crewniverse Yıl önce
It’s ok to have struggles it’s ok to feel like you might lose it like you’re not ok because then you realize someone is feeling that and if you don’t like how it feels slowly move towards feeling better forgiving your self every move of the movement of life
Lachika Latina
Lachika Latina 3 yıl önce
I’m a medical student and she does not even know how right she is. I’m impressed somebody not in medical field is killing it
Mia Turner-Whitley
Mia Turner-Whitley Yıl önce
This was excellent!!! I am going to share this with our girl's empowerment program!
Kathy Colbert
Kathy Colbert 2 yıl önce
Karoline K Reading your hidden thoughts & I pray you have started the therapy you need and desire. I understand growing up with a family & community that believes you’re “Weak” if you seek help. So glad I found the strength to address my anxiety issues. The discussions & anti anxiety medication helped me through rough patches in my evolution. Thankful for good insurance coverage through the years also.
Chopping It Up With Tammy
Chopping It Up With Tammy 3 aylar önce
This is exactly what I needed to start a healthy life journey
Julia Taylor
Julia Taylor Yıl önce
"What would you stop doing if you knew you were already worthy" brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this beautiful thing called unconditional self-worth.
risainternet 3 yıl önce
My husband and I were watching this together and neither of us, in our late thirties, had ever even CONSIDERED being their for yourself. I guess I was always looking for other people to be there for me. Thank you for a moving and very powerful talk. I appreciate it for my own self worth journey!! Many thanks.
Oriana Galardi-Este
Oriana Galardi-Este 3 yıl önce
Such an epiphany isn't it? Life changing. once you become your own best friend, you stop grasping for love, approval and validation from others, which not only frees YOU, but it also allows you to better love everyone else because you don't NEED anything else from them anymore. It's such a beautiful thing.
Tropical StormXoX
Tropical StormXoX 3 yıl önce
risainternet the truth is it’s difficult to only solely be there for yourself, you need other people being therefore yourself only works in the sense that you start agreeing with all those that have supported you
Mindfulness 4 yıl önce
I love this talk. Adia is not only worthy, she is super-beautyful and absolutely inspirational. Thank you for this video
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 4 yıl önce
Thank you!!
Lydia 2 yıl önce
Love this. I am learning to re-parent myself and practice those steps. Great talk
Mental Health Hygiene w/ Kumar
Mental Health Hygiene w/ Kumar 2 yıl önce
That's a wonderful goal! I hope it's going well.
Cristina Rodriguez
Cristina Rodriguez 3 yıl önce
Self worth will definitely push away certain men & I have learned to accept that in my journey.🙏❤️😇
M S 11 aylar önce
Same here and I’m 100 percent ok with that. Very cautious and worthy of taking up space cuz you are too , so why am I not ?
Mary 4 yıl önce
She took me back to my own childhood when it came to me at dances. Till this day I refuse to dance and that's because I get heavy anxiety.
Diman Voltaïr
Diman Voltaïr 4 yıl önce
I feel you but we're awesome lets dance next time ;)
Jennifer 4 yıl önce
My bf is like that. He refuses to dance.
Richard Jones
Richard Jones Yıl önce
By the time I could go to dances it was the seventies and I didn't like the music of that era and I was too afraid to ask any girl to dance. In 2001, I discovered cybergoth music, which I love and which you dance to in the dark and I discovered that I could dance to music I liked and that you just find yourself dancing with girls automatically. (Cybergoth is very loud, no touching or speaking and so no stressful situations)
Bria Thomas
Bria Thomas 9 aylar önce
This was 3 years ago, but I hope that you take that step to dance if you haven’t already. It’s so freeing and cathartic. ❤️
That Leo-ish Virgo
That Leo-ish Virgo Yıl önce
This lady is so good at speeches and talking! Her jestures are loose but brod at the end, which makes the audience connect with the smooth, but then listen with the brod. She pauses during her speech, so people can listen. Her voice is very strong and loud during her speech! Also I love how she made a speech on this because I really needed it. Thanksss!
Kathleen Bowles
Kathleen Bowles 2 yıl önce
Great speech. It hits home. Perfectionism, doing too much just to feel better. I am so glad I listen to this speech. Eye opening, great take a ways.
Shayne Shinkai
Shayne Shinkai 8 aylar önce
Thank you, Ms. Gooden.Very inspirational.
Yeahhhh 4 aylar önce
"What would find the courage to do if you *knew* you were worthy?" Jaw dropping. I didnt love myself until about a week ago. My self perception changed and my entire view shifted. It's somewhat short of a miracle how extremely compassionate and free and I feel. What she's saying may sound simple because it is. What those examples look like exactly is completely dependent on the person but it works, I swear. You have to go DEEP.
Lee Ashby Coach
Lee Ashby Coach Yıl önce
Great stuff - Self worth is a great starting point for personal development and motivation.
la vie est belle
la vie est belle 4 yıl önce
She is beautiful, intelligent, polished, and her topic resonates with so many women.
Dee Woods
Dee Woods 3 yıl önce
And Men... Let's stop genderising problems that are real for everyone... Including men
Naira Bee
Naira Bee 3 yıl önce
Dee Woods I mean.....isn’t it? A gendered problem I mean. I completely agree with you. But there’s a reason the gender gap is so dramatic when it comes to things like eating disorders, women are also twice as likely to be depressed as men. And also commit more suicide attempts, and are more likely to have low self esteem. When it comes to how you look, more of your self-worth as a woman is placed on it. That isn’t all her topic was, but it was a huge part of it. That doesn’t mean we should have language that frames it’s solely a female problem, because then unfortunately that creates a toxic stigma around male victims. Buuuut, overall the issues associated with her topic *disproportionately* affects women more. There needs to be a balance in our rhetoric that reflects that gender gap. I don’t want male victims to feel disenfranchised but there’s also reasons there’s such a drastic gap in both genders concerning the rates they’re victimized by these kinds of issues.
Naira Bee
Naira Bee 3 yıl önce
Dee Woods just to be clear I’m not saying male victims are not equally as valid as female victims. They need just as much research and advocation and help as the women do. But let’s ask ourselves WHY there’s such a large gender disparity in the kind of problems discussed. Maybe because definitions of worth are more superficial, consequential, pervasive, for women than they are for men? I don’t it’s good to equalize the rhetoric we use to talk about these issues without also recognizing that the way both genders experience them are not equal. Again, I think a balance is needed between not locking out male victims from the conversation but also still acknowledging it’s still and has been a largely female issue.
Dave Dave
Dave Dave 3 yıl önce
Naira Bee I just want to say that I agree with your point. Self esteem issues often resonate more within women than men, but you have to look at your statistics from a different angle. First of all, men are about 3,5 times more likely to commit suicide than women and I feel like without generalizing, a lot of suicide attempts are done as a mean to get attention (not always in a bad way) and women are more prone to that. I’m no expert or anything so don’t quote me on that. Also, men are not as open as women when it comes to their inner issues of self esteem, depression, anxiety and such. They are groomed to hide away their feelings and constantly feel like they will be judged if they show vulnerability. Women are more comfortable talking about this, because vulnerability is accepted and even excepted from them. I also feel like there are more men that are affected by mental issues then what the statistics show. Again, not trying to invalidate your point, but I feel like this issue is not as much gender bound as it might seem.
Naira Bee
Naira Bee 3 yıl önce
Dave Dave I agree. The statistics can have multiple factors behind them and the Gap might not be as large as the statistics suggest. And I said women ATTEMPT suicide 3X more than men do, men are unfortunately just really effective at taking their own life. So they die from suicide more, but women are by far more suicidal. I think calling it potential attention seeking is inaccurate and shaky territory, when you look at how women are also multiple times more than men to have thoughts of suicidal ideation. Even if it was for attention, if someone exhibits a cry for help that insanely desperate, it’s not something to be taken lightly regardless. And I say the gap is as big as the statistics show because it’s reflected in literally every aspect of our culture and expectations for women. How you look is a much bigger deal for women, it just is. We know this. Look at the statistics of who is getting the cosmetic producers, surgical enhancements, and just about any statistic that has to do with the topics I discussed, women suffer from it more. So at that point, it’s just a case of if it quacks and talk like a duck, it’s probably a duck. Not all the statistics are self reporting, like the statistics of eating disorders for example. That’s a diagnosable condition that we can count. And women still suffer from it more. I’m sure some of that gap would be slightly made up by men who aren’t empowered to speak about their emotions, but again, a good portion of the stats (eating disorders, surgical alterations etc) aren’t even self reporting and reflect the exact same trend of women baring the brunt of that kind of struggle more than men do.
cloudfall sound bathing
cloudfall sound bathing 3 yıl önce
Favorite ted talk ever! She hit right to the heart. What a beautiful message and messenger. Thank you so much ❤️
Gareth Hughes
Gareth Hughes 4 yıl önce
Wonderful talk. Totally relatable and something I need to work more on myself. I often feel like I'm putting so much effort into a lot of things but still don't feel worthy, like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. Thanks for your positive words and advice. It's heartening to know we can change this. X
Dee Marie
Dee Marie 4 yıl önce
Embrace yourself, quarks and all. I love it! Great talk. I’m gonna play these types of talks for my kids.
MissJoy Yıl önce
I came across this video recovering from a relapse of anxiety, of a trigger of be isolated this helped me a lot thank for sharing your story and knowledge ❤️🥺💐
YouTube Addict
YouTube Addict 2 yıl önce
Four ways to begin to feel more worthy: 1. Forgive yourself. acknowledge and accept what has already happened. Acceptance releases us from blaming her ourselves or others and allows us to move forward). To forgive yourself, reflect on the circumstances that led to it, acknowledge the pain you’ve experienced, then identify what you’ve learnt from the situation, then say to yourself, “I forgive you” in an honest and kind way 2. Practice self acceptance. Many of us struggle with low self-worth because we think something is wrong with us and refuse to accept ourselves the way that we are. Let go of the thoughts you have about how u should feel, look and be different - instead, Focus on the things that you like about yourself and overtime, begin to embrace your quirks, your crooked smile, your unusual ways of thinking about things etc. This will help you to acknowledge that you are worthy just the way you are 3. Be there for yourself when life gets rough. Engaging in harsh self criticism only makes us feel worse. What we need most when we go thru a difficult time is for someone to say “I see u, I see how bad you’re hurting, I’m here”. We can do this for ourselves. The next time you feel emotional pain, acknowledge the pain you’re feeling and offer yourself some comfort. Give yourself a hug or place a hand on your chest and say something kind, comforting and soothing to yourself 4. Connect to supportive people. This helps us to get in touch with our humanity and our self worth
Sarah Crane
Sarah Crane 2 yıl önce
Self worth is about accepting yourself flaws and all. Not one person is perfect. Totally agree it's knowing you deserve love 💖
BmoniB 2 yıl önce
Thank you for sharing your story. I felt the same way in high school. My college career has been full of ups and downs, but my problem was not depression or anxiety. It was a self love problem, and procrastination. Lol
Arkasha Filatov
Arkasha Filatov 3 yıl önce
i've have been struggling with low self-worth for many years, so this talk inspired me greatly! thank you
Hala Hibri
Hala Hibri 2 yıl önce
She is so beautiful, and smart and worthy. We all are. She actually reminded me of myself my unworthiness didn't come from dancing but from other things and I kept studying psychology and Life Coaching and I'm on my way to unconditional self-worth. We all deserve love.
Merab Bram
Merab Bram 2 yıl önce
I can’t believe... it was just what I was thinking about since morning and was questioning myself if I am doing the right things to feel worthy and authentic , because I felt unworthy since childhood and had to go through a lot of mental traumas . thank Good ness I am already on the path of healing I am adhering to the 4 steps described by this beautiful lady already & this is the exact talk I had with myself in the morning about mental health that the root to all other problems is mentality also I used to think how come people be so unapologetically themselves in dance whereas I feel shy to open and cant even look at my self in mirror this was God talking to me that I am safe and worthy and I am doing every thing right, I also have started dancing by myself to free my body it’s just a week that I feel free I loved the talk . It’s Gods message for me “ keep calm and carry on “ 🥳
Chenn 3 aylar önce
It does make me unconsciously pull away and disconnect from people. I did not know what it was but now I do. Thank you for the speech :)
Yolly Billones
Yolly Billones 7 aylar önce
A very good speaker with sincerity.. Thank u so much for the wonderful and very worthy topic.. Enlightening and inspiring.. ❤️
Eric Webb
Eric Webb 5 yıl önce
So intellectual and life-giving​! Wonderful job!
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 5 yıl önce
Thanks for leaving such an affirming comment Eric!
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 4 yıl önce
Thank you Eric!!
April S
April S 2 yıl önce
Beautiful speech 💖 I felt the joy and positive energy radiating off her at the end of the that speech as she danced on stage 🥰🧡
Tippys Grammy
Tippys Grammy 4 yıl önce
1. Acceptance of past mistakes - self forgiveness. 2. Practice self acceptance - just as we are right now. 3. Be there for yourself when life gets rough - Comfort yourself, as you'd want others to do. WOW! WOW! WOW! Wonderful message to us all. Thank you for having the courage to share your story to help free others.
Dejah-Maia De Jesus
Dejah-Maia De Jesus 2 yıl önce
Challenging myself! Manifesting and claiming the steps she said to take. I receive it! ❤️🙏🏼✨
Nora Castaneda
Nora Castaneda 2 yıl önce
This is a wonderful TED talk. Her message is very important.
oh hi mark
oh hi mark 2 yıl önce
I cried a lot during this speech. It was really valuable, thank you so much!
Ayot Misticka
Ayot Misticka 6 aylar önce
I thought I was the Only one struggling with this feeling of unworthiness, but this video has encouraged me greatly... Thank you
Katherine Wilson
Katherine Wilson 5 aylar önce
Not at all. I had low self-worth for most of my life. It took therapy, meditation, and more to really heal. I have a healthier self-worth now. But it's becoming aware that's important so it just grows organically. 🌸💗💕
Naneya Yıl önce
I can so relate to this. Starting from childhood Basing my self worth on caring about others opinions and how they treat me.
Casey Ryan
Casey Ryan 5 aylar önce
Thank you so much, Dr. Gooden 🙏 I'm eager to start the journey! I hope one day these approaches become universally taught and practiced 💗
Kimberly Sanchez
Kimberly Sanchez 6 aylar önce
I may have found this great piece of work years later but this knowledge is Timeless. God bless you
ML 3 aylar önce
I'm grateful that found this 🙇 Her shared experience tears me.
pinkcadillacs 3 aylar önce
I really enjoyed this. I listen to a lot of self-help/improvement videos and it’s not often I find one that sticks out and offers something new. Thank you!
Marissa 3 yıl önce
I'm legit crying right now and I'm still watching this video. i resonate with this topic on the highest level!!!
Ayesha Wali
Ayesha Wali 2 yıl önce
1 forgiveness, acknowledge pain, lesson, i forgive you, 2, self acceptance, let go of thoughts being different, embrace things you like about yourself, worthy just the way you are, 3 be there for yourself acknowledge feeling, comfort self kind soothing touch heart, 4 connect to supportive people as we pull away from people when we think something is wrong with us, exacerbates feeling of unworthiness, not alone in struggles and pain, in touch with humanity and sense of worth when with supportive people.
Michelle Pierson
Michelle Pierson 2 yıl önce
It was truly a message that was spoken from the heart but more than that from a young woman that had experienced it firsthand and shared with such vulnerability. The aha moment for me was distinguishing the difference between self esteem and self worth.
S.Chethana 2 yıl önce
I relate to each and every point of hers💯
Shrouke Abdelnaby
Shrouke Abdelnaby Yıl önce
I am studying English and i want to listen more and more and more to improve it , I always watch TEDX to study and motivate my self , this lady by her talking motivate d me alot , thank you
Renee DeYoe
Renee DeYoe 4 yıl önce
Her message is so vital and important. Most of the good things in life come from love not fear and hate, so why would it be different of ourselves? Go Girl!!
Joval Webbe
Joval Webbe 4 yıl önce
So timely and needed. Thanks for sharing your story, your knowledge and wisdom! XO
Adia Gooden
Adia Gooden 4 yıl önce
You are welcome!
Debbie 3 yıl önce
I loved everything she said. So grateful for her truthfulness. I do recommend videos by Marisa Peer, she created the I Am Enough program, she was voted the No. 1 Therapist in England. You were created by God because he wanted you and you are loved and you are enough. I am grateful, Debbie.
Nicole M
Nicole M 2 yıl önce
This was so helpful. Really made me think about how much I do or do not value myself in the different aspects of my life. Great talk!
Maycee Sugarol
Maycee Sugarol Yıl önce
So incredibly thankful for this TEDtalk ❤️❤️❤️
@KendineMuzisyenKM  bu terslikte bir iş var!?🤨
Red Bull Gamerszon
görünümler 552 B
23'ün Hikayesi | 23 Maddede, 23. Şampiyonluk
Hastalık Bu Futbol
görünümler 642 B
@KendineMuzisyenKM  bu terslikte bir iş var!?🤨
Red Bull Gamerszon
görünümler 552 B