Embracing the mess -- how compassion saved my life | Garrard Conley | TEDxBG

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TEDx Talks

7 yıl önce

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Garrard Conley, a survivor of the controversial “ex-gay” therapy movement, describes his traumatic experience as a gay man growing up in the South. In the years following his escape from extreme prejudice, he has learned one important lesson: compassion has the power to heal wounds, but it is also one of the messiest human emotions.

Garrard Conley is a writer and teacher living in Sofia, Bulgaria. His memoir is forthcoming from Riverhead (Penguin).

About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

YORUMLAR
Rebecca Zegstroo
Rebecca Zegstroo Aylar önce
Love your mom! She gets right to the point. Conversation in my family was like tiptoeing through a minefield - so many forbidden topics.
Æntel S
Æntel S Aylar önce
His speaking is so calming and makes you want to hear it…
Amanda Tan
Amanda Tan 2 aylar önce
The sloppy geometry externally file because mind comparatively fit pro a normal texture. warlike, abrasive bull
kSusano
kSusano 2 aylar önce
I went to these places, even the one he went to as well;. he speaks the total truth in every word.
R.G.
R.G. 3 aylar önce
Such a good speech. Thank you
Debbie R
Debbie R 7 aylar önce
Romans 1:20 For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Jesus is coming very soon...................God Bless.........
Vécio Nandes
Vécio Nandes 9 aylar önce
19:15 God DIDN'T make this mess. "A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the Lord." Proverbs 19.3
Abhy
Abhy 10 aylar önce
Watched the movie Boy Erased. I've seen this video before but it never felt more uncomfortable. I'm really sorry Garrard for what they have done to you. But look at you, hope never dies. Truth always triumphs.
גלעד סוירזנסקי
גלעד סוירזנסקי 11 aylar önce
The fact that D&D was one of the sins in the list is so funny to me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Avenger
Avenger Yıl önce
That is a LIE you have to get out of, Garrard: Saying that God made all the mess we find in life. You are placing fault wrongly on God, not the God religion has taught you but the real One.
Janat Horowitz
Janat Horowitz Yıl önce
Wonderful!
Mikael Gallego
Mikael Gallego Yıl önce
Having the people laugh actually highlights the gravitas of the situation. I get him wanting the audience and himself to be comfortable using laughter as a coping mechanism but also makes you realise just how badly Garrad was treated at these conversion therapy "camps" and that's what hurts the most.
ode
ode 8 aylar önce
Yeah, like I absolutely understand the need for humor to cope with such darkness, and it really shows how absurd the whole thing is, but it still hurt my soul a little bit when the audience laughed at the fact he might have committed suicide cause that actually happens a lot at these places
Ryan Rice
Ryan Rice Yıl önce
He's so cute. Boy Erased killed me and I'm sorry people also had to live through situations like that, but I'm so happy that he survived it to get the story out there. Truly inspirational ❤️❤️
Bee Good
Bee Good Yıl önce
G-D didn't make this mess, mankind did. G-D allowed it to happen and did not stop us.
Tan tran thanh
Tan tran thanh Yıl önce
He’s so cute, oh god
Robert Baird
Robert Baird Yıl önce
You think Adam & Eve is hard to believe. Try out evolution. They don’t know it takes a rooster & hen for a fertilized egg. And most fish lay eggs. But the fish evolved into the missing links (male & female links.). That’s why we don’t have fish anymore. I don’t believe we had Adam & Steve!
Enryu Wolfgang
Enryu Wolfgang Yıl önce
They were right about the father. About the connection to Father
Enryu Wolfgang
Enryu Wolfgang Yıl önce
As somebody who studies a lot of psychoanalysis the camp was right about your lack male to male contact.
Basmala Saad
Basmala Saad 7 aylar önce
Wdym?
Sree lakshmi
Sree lakshmi 2 yıl önce
He somewhere slightly looks like young Joey Tribbiani🤩
Basmala Saad
Basmala Saad 7 aylar önce
Wait what? How??
Paul Miller
Paul Miller 2 yıl önce
Garrard, thank you for sharing that part of your journey. You may never know how much your story may help someone else .
Jenny Hughes
Jenny Hughes 2 yıl önce
What a shocking and terrible way to be treated, I'm so sad that this man and others are abused and humiliated in this way. This guy has done so well to survive and has huge courage to stand up and talk about it. I didn't laugh, not once, it made me very very sad that people would use religion to harm others, still, now. I'm glad the leader later saw the light and begged forgiveness but it was way too late for many I'm sure. Garrard Conley: hats off to you for all of this, for not becoming bitter and for educating others so that hopefully nobody else will have to suffer what you did.
Lord Of Chaos Inc.
Lord Of Chaos Inc. 2 yıl önce
This video is kinda funny in a way and also kinda not.
Agus Hidseventen
Agus Hidseventen 2 yıl önce
He’s HANDSOME AND CUTE❤️❤️❤️
Ravensucks
Ravensucks 2 yıl önce
I’m reading the book right now
Steve Filkins
Steve Filkins 2 yıl önce
The movie is wonderful. I bought it in January 2019 and just watched it in February. It was heart-wrenching. Awesome. I'm so glad the movie was made.
Steve Filkins
Steve Filkins 2 yıl önce
Boy Erased
Hein Ko Ko
Hein Ko Ko 2 yıl önce
What is the name of the movie?
Danny Lara
Danny Lara 2 yıl önce
Beautiful
Honey Testa
Honey Testa 2 yıl önce
These conversion camps are akin to the snake oil salesmen, of date. They bleed people dry of their $$$, but more importantly, they cause irreversible damage that then reverberates throughout the lives of their victims. And that's the best case scenario, many of these kids are faced with more heartache , confusion and turmoil when the "therapy" doesn't work. They are forced into systematic self hatred and many choose suicide. These sham places are a fraud at best and at worst, they are horribly abusive. They have no place in a educated and empathetic society.
Robert Jazz
Robert Jazz 2 yıl önce
His smile brings me life
King Cole
King Cole 2 yıl önce
Good movie.
David K
David K 2 yıl önce
This was funny at first, he’s a great speaker, but it got scary as it went on. Can’t believe he went through this weird regiment.
nadine x
nadine x 2 yıl önce
i‘ve read boy erased and i‘d recommend it to anyone. i admire garrard so much and wish him all the best. he deserves everything!
M
M 2 yıl önce
I’m so sad that there are so many countries around the world that did not show this movie in theaters, mine being one of them. Do any of you know how I could watch it online or something?
Abdul Rafay
Abdul Rafay 2 yıl önce
I'd also highly recommend reading the book. Since I'm also from a country which is too conservative for this, I can tell you finding the online version is not at all easy, but really worth it.
Abigail Garner
Abigail Garner 2 yıl önce
you can stream it online. p opcornflix and 123movies has it. unfortunately its not showing in any of my local theaters either :/
Shonna Carter
Shonna Carter 2 yıl önce
God didn't make human error and indiscretion did
Name And Address Supplied
Name And Address Supplied 2 yıl önce
What?
Janei Matsuda
Janei Matsuda 2 yıl önce
it makes me mad that people who love god does this to others....we are supposed to love thy neighbor. This is a strong man and he deserves the world. god bless
Joseph DUPLAGA
Joseph DUPLAGA Yıl önce
Yes love the neighbor hate to sin.
Niccole A
Niccole A 2 yıl önce
Janei Matsuda they’re fundamentalist.
FS A
FS A 2 yıl önce
Bravo for his truth and his God-given strength to tell it!
Michaela Suorsa
Michaela Suorsa 2 yıl önce
I can’t wait to see his movie
Space Chronicles
Space Chronicles 2 yıl önce
Michaela Suorsa Where is it?! I have been looking everywhere for it.
BobEckert56
BobEckert56 2 yıl önce
The movie is here! Go see it and tell everyone you know to see it!
Republic of MAC
Republic of MAC 2 yıl önce
God didn't "make this mess". We are the ones who make the mess. Personal responsibility.
Javier Garza
Javier Garza Yıl önce
He did try with that free will experiment tho.
Yanna K.
Yanna K. 2 yıl önce
But God made us, so...
Republic of MAC
Republic of MAC 2 yıl önce
@Joseph Broide If that is what you think (that there is no God), then my point would be all the more true, wouldn't you say?
Joseph Broide
Joseph Broide 2 yıl önce
There is no god, only old beliefs that cause fear guilt and shame. Slavery existed in the days of the bible, it was accepted and condoned, now, even the most religious person would not condone slavery. Some religious ideas are good, some are destructive, lets be open enough to see the difference and create an open way of living that allows people to respect themselves and respect others openly.
ambrotvd
ambrotvd 2 yıl önce
He’s so cute and funny. I Stan him
Dave Glo
Dave Glo 2 yıl önce
Is it really inappropriate for me to say that he’s handsome and personable?
9000ck
9000ck Yıl önce
No, because he is. He gorgeous inside and out.
sudhir chandra
sudhir chandra 2 yıl önce
Adam got iPhone
Muse California
Muse California 3 yıl önce
Amazing thank you for this - I can't wait to see the movie
Nhựt Trường Nguyễn
Nhựt Trường Nguyễn 3 yıl önce
He's so cute!
Skyler Momoko
Skyler Momoko 3 yıl önce
Can't wait for the movie!!! Heard about it coz Troye Sivan was starring in it and now I can't wait.
Jonathan Di Carlo
Jonathan Di Carlo 3 yıl önce
He's such a dork. lol So cute and handsome!
Tereza Santos
Tereza Santos 2 yıl önce
No documento mínimo
aman shaikh
aman shaikh 3 yıl önce
The smile ❤
mr michel
mr michel 3 yıl önce
I’m here because of the movie that is coming. Really excited!
Teresa Hope Miller
Teresa Hope Miller 3 yıl önce
Thank you I needed that.
Ryan Scarola
Ryan Scarola 3 yıl önce
Reading his book right now. Good stuff.
afl
afl 4 yıl önce
I read Garrard's book because I wanted to be more educated on this topic, since narratives like his barely get media coverage. After having read it, I can confidently say that this is a story that NEEDS to be told and NEEDS to reach a wide audience. Hopefully this movie will give it the attention that it deserves
Meriem Brini
Meriem Brini 4 yıl önce
Joel Edgerton is making a movie about his memoir "Boy Erased" starring Nicole Kidman and Russel Crowe , and the lead is going to be ,apprently, the boy from Manchester by the Sea , Lucas Hedges. I'm expecting the views for this video will go up by the time movie is out.
Aries7
Aries7 5 yıl önce
He's handsome :)
Guglielmo Marinaro
Guglielmo Marinaro 7 yıl önce
Thank you. An excellent talk, exposing succinctly the foundation of harmful nonsense on which the “ex-gay” movement is built.
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