I once asked a 94 year old woman if she was lonely living alone - she said - there are a lot worse things than living alone - and one of them is living with a person you don't like.

"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone" - Robin Williams

WOW, Maureen! You described my marriage to perfection. I did all the cooking and housework and child care (6 kids) PLUS worked 50 hours a week. But any time I wanted "time" with her, she was "too tired," "too busy with something." or just "not interested." And then after 11 years SHE left me, saying I never did anything with/for her! To top it off, the day after the divorce was finalized by the court, she married the guy she'd been seeing the whole time. Sexless marriage? More a thoughtless, uncaring marriage, I would say.

"Men in a sexless marriage cheat to remain in that marriage, Women cheat to get out of it". Profound.

WHAT??? This is all shocking to me. Married since I was 19 to the same man for 40 years. Things have been rockin' and rollin' all this time and especially those early years. Literally, I had NO idea this was a problem for so many couples.

Not always the women. My ex was always tired, busy, "not tonight" ,etc ... as a woman I was embarrassed to talk about this for years because I thought. When I finally discussed it with friends, I discovered many of my girlfriends were experiencing the same thing. It's not always just the women.

There is no more lonely feeling in the world than being needed for what you can provide and being unwanted for who you are.

All of it is true. Ending up in a sexless marriage is very lonely. Falling so in love, having a healthy relationship in the beginning and then nothing as time goes on can make a person fall into a depression. Marriage without passion is an empty place to be.

I'm glad for these talks, I hope lots of people see that they can get educated and talk about anything with their partner, and have a fulfilling relationship. A lifetime companion is such a blessing.

I am leaving a 17-year sexless marriage because she just 'did not have time for it'. She worked a part-time job at 15 hours a week but seemed to be busy quite often and 'fall asleep' when I would come to bed. I gave 100% into the marriage and she put 0% into the marriage, concentrating on what she wanted instead of our relationship. She is still angry I filed for divorce. I am past caring. It is time to find someone who will love me and not just use my resources.

If you're getting nowhere with your partner, and you are just over it, tell them. Propose parting ways. If they want to make it work, agree on a schedule, and honor it. If they can't change, don't look back. Happiness is out there. You aren't getting any younger.

Amazing talk! Now I know why I felt alone during marriage that two years later ended with a divorce. Better know this talk earlier to know to “enjoy” it more and pay attention to the partner more. Amazing talk! Thank you!

After 39 years of marriage, I find myself to have a strong desire for my wife. I find her far more interesting at 58 than I found her to be at 19 when we first met. At times it is a struggle to connect just due to so many things going on, but it is all about the commitment. As the husband, I cook, clean, shop and take care of the house. The fact that my wife is not exhausted all the time really helps. In the long run it is a partnership with give and take.

This video is very powerful and true to the core of relationships between 2 people, partners. Wake up everyone before you loose your love ones. ❤️

Being told to "Sort yourself out, it is only friction" week after week, month after month really riled me. So much for the warmth, closeness and connection of a intimate relationship. The result was animosity, emptiness and the complete loss of self worth.

This happens to women too. I'm in a sexless marriage, the amount of pain and rejection is unbearable. I thought things would get better, it's been 10 years. 😥

I am married and absolutely happy and satisfied in every sense of the word. The bottom line is, be with someone who you are compatible with. Stop looking for someone you are not.

I so enjoyed watching this, she spoke well with a relaxed tone. Many are not sensitive enough to understand the dynamics of both sexes. It's better to be single and alone, than being alone in marriage

Being married for 25 years I can pass on this chunk of wisdom. Two people working together as a team can bring rewards beyond explanation. Give each other space to be individuals.

Amazing talk. Women also feel the rejection in a relationship. Nobody should stay in a sexless, loveless relationship 🥰🥰

I hated being involved in an emotionally & physically draining relationship. This stuff is true.

"Only about 7% of married couples set the sheets ablaze." That hit deep, its powerful...

Dont be in a failed marriage. Don't punish yourself for the other person's incompatibility ! YOU OWN YOUR OWN HAPPINESS !

Been married 19 years and we still do it 3-4x a week. I can’t get enough of my husband. Ever. Give it to me every day. Love it.

This was absolutely phenomenal!!! I love her knowledge, compassion, sense of humor, authenticity, love and devotion to making this world a better place!!!!! 💞💥💞

Excelente palestra, ainda bem que tem legenda em português!

You had me up until 21:09, sure at times it is impossible to avoid thoughts and even fantasies of someone other than your SO/Spouse, but it is important to avoid these thoughts that can be played out in ones mind because we all know fantasies with such a big pay off with passionate feel good results will indeed affect you and will often tempt to move into virtual contact which as you discussed will lead into a physical one. What I am saying is always protect your thoughts, because thoughts do often lead into actions.

She deserves the standing ovation

Love this!! So enlightening. Puts so much into perspective.

Being with someone that makes you feel alone, is worse than actually being alone.

👏👏👏👏👏 love how so honest and truthful You simplify these matters for us to understand.thank you for presenting these issues in a world where people are lost for answers.

Well done …great speech and I love that she was promoting marriage …🙏🏾

You hit it bullseye, you explained it well. Thank you, I am sure you've helped a lot of people who were able to watch this. Keep it up. I was just watching on youtube but I could not stop clapping my hands.

You hit every nail squarely on the head. Fantastic talk Maureen!

What an awesome episode. I’m about to go find the one(s) before, and look forward to the coming ones with this guest. Thank you!

I'm 56 years old. Been divorced for over 12 years. After this TED talk, I'm glad I'm single and don't have to deal with the stresses of a sexless marriage!

You explained very nicely on your topic. Keep up your great work educating people.

Sometimes the story of one's life can relate from the words each one have contributed here . Great knowledge.😇

Connected to the internet! Honestly, the number of times I’ve seen couples in a restaurant together yet glued to their smart phones.. leaves me glad to be married to myself. And actually I’m taking myself on another extended honeymoon. I’m finally a happily married man.

It’s destructive. Single life is better than the feeling of being unwanted and neglected.

After 25 years with the same person I have to say that it takes two people working to get what both want. I still look at my wife with the love and lust I had in my twenties but it’s completely wasted. We talk about why things are this way every three months for years. She will not be intellectually honest about her feelings. She shows no passion. She does nothing to create romance or intimacy. We’re roommates raising kids. It breeds so much resentment. She’s preventing me from being fulfilled. While I beg her to tell me what she’s missing. Half the time she wants time alone. Some times I just wish I was single. I love her but I wish I could have my 22 year old girlfriend back. I don’t need a roommate.

This TED Talk needs to be shared far and wide.

I'm 28, married 9 years, have 3 boys, and actively having "meetings" 5-6 times a week. The key to an amazing marriage I've found in the short time I've been married is being Selfless. It's not about you, it's about the person you married. I'm not saying we're perfect, no one is perfect. Your life is yours to share and to be "one." I wish the same for others.

I grew to love my husband when I got married in my 20s. I already cared for him deeply, but I wasn’t so sure if it was love - but it became love through the years..Then when he started fooling around when he traveled, it totally broke my heart. I had really grown to love this man. When he started fooling around on the road I knew it I could tell by our phone conversations and he never lied to me, but then when he started fooling around when he got home as well, that was the end of our marriage.That killed our marriage. We were together for 15 years. I liked being married, but I had hoped for the two of us to be on the same page . “Two of us against the world,” not me fighting for us by myself .

I tried talking about this with my wife (we’re Latino) it did not go so well haha, but we’ll get through it. Thanks for having this conversation, I think it’s really important. - Man on the couch

Be positive and have good intentions for marriage. You'll get the right spouse. Don't just end up marrying anyone you feel physically attracted to. That attraction soon ends. Know yourself before you think you know you love someone or atleast know that you need to know yourself and you'll learn to love your spouse even if you two are very different.

Her audience is either rough or tired, she was informative and super funny, there were many parts where id find myself laughing and her expecting one and it just goes over the audiences head!

Excellent video - 60 years old, two marriages, no kids and in my third long term and very satisfying relationship - I found that self-love and finding the right distance (Time, Mind and Body) can do wonders.

This is such an incredibly unfortunate real thing. I ended my 24-year marriage because of these issues. I will never sacrifice my needs ever again. There is nothing worse than living in a sexless marriage.

I would like to hear her discuss the effects of weight gain causing a sexless marriage. I look at many relationships around me and people letting themselves go causes the loss of attraction more than anything else and it definately leads to cheating, divorce, etc…

This was my problem!!!!!! "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone"

People expect each other to be a certain way, we try to control each other to be a certain, the resentment begins & the love ends. Do the opposite, don’t ever hurt the person you love & you can have a happy marriage for the rest of your life.

Am convinced beyond any doubt that this is one of the best speech I have heard so far. Thank you Maureen for making it so short ,sweet and funny 😄. I want more of this sort please. Can you direct me to the well there of

I never ever felt ashamed about having sex. I felt ashamed that I wasn't having sex. When I was in a sexless marriage I was terrified that my friends, family, and colleagues would find out I wasn't having sex. This shame made me feel even more trapped because I didn't want anyone to know. Even worse, my friends seemed to perceive my problem because some of their jokes suggested I wasn't getting any; I'd always laugh along like me not having sex was ridiculous but I wondered what in my behavior betrayed me? Two things I'd say to anyone is that you can be a lot happier alone than married to the wrong person and if you are in a joyless marriage you should either fix it or get out. Resigning yourself to a joyless life shouldn't be an option.

Her humour and sarcasm were one of the best things in her speech

Thank you for the great talk and getting the topic out in the open!

Living with someone who always makes you feel like you are alone doesn’t always result in an early death and/or dying of said sadness & loneliness; it can also turn you into a monster who maliciously preys and feeds on and off-of the life-force of others in order to get-off alternatively. I don’t know why she didn’t mention this negative side-effect which can occur in some individuals? 🤷‍♂️

Right on Maureen, good show, perfect way to explain the problem.

I stayed about three years longer in my 20 year marriage than I should have and all that got me was insomnia and a coffee addiction! Put yourself first (I know it's easier said than done) and everything will happen as it's meant to.

Amazing video!! If only my ex-wife could have listen to it,we would have still been married today.. This is a great video for any couple who cares about there relationship..

You, Maureen, said it! Interesting and useful info sharing. Your presentation is also awesome!

My theory about the main cause of such misery is lack of communication. People typically don't talk about who they are and what they want before marriage and that ridiculous trend continues at and beyond. People get married based on the honeymoon phase and fear of being alone. I know because I was that person. If I told you the average, you'd be as sad as I am

Better than most comedians out there. Perfectly elegant in her delivery with a touch of cheek. She’s an excellent speaker.

If you think phones and internet are bad, wait until robot 'partners' become a thing. I am single, always wanted to find a soul mate and get married and have kids and so on, but now I think that maybe things aren't so bad after all. I would hate to be around a loveless person, that just drains the life out of you.

When is the last time you saw someone give an hour long talk/ speech from memory? She is clearly an accomplished speaker, this was enjoyable to watch for that reason alone, says so much about the world we live in, where real skills are scarce.

I have a sexless marriage and I'm female, I hate when it's assumed to always be the wife who is denying her husband. it's destroyed me mentally and stolen the best years of my life. I've cried and pleaded and begged and ignored and gone to therapy to try to find out why, what was wrong with me, why doesn't my husband want me. I've had sex once in the last almost 3 years. I hate this life.

The speaker is right about abuse. It's painful. Nobody can bear the weight of a ton on their shoulders.

I never knew what loneliness is till I got married.

What a great talk! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Maureen, I really enjoyed your talk. It was informative, and presented intelligently, with humor.

F-ing amen Maureen! Wonderful message and I hope you reach a lot of lonely minds.

Damn, did not realize my marriage is in such a small minority. 24 years later and while the frequency is not what is was in our early years; the quality and passion keeps getting better. Especially once all the kids moved out.

Very important conversation, held rightly, ended rightly. Congrats Dr.

Settle all arguments ..... Best advice for every married Couple ❤

So clever and witty! Really enjoyed the talk and a good way to broach the subject with my partner

Q: what’s worst then sleeping alone in your bed? A: laying next to someone in bed and have no physical interaction at all.

Amazing Maureen, you nailed this subject.

I have been married for 37 plus years and I am thankful for the relationship we have shared.

I am impressed by the wisdom and knowledge she has. Respects.

This woman is a queen! Great presentation❤️

I enjoyed her lecture and will definitely share it with others. Thank you

I read a comment below about advice a 94 year-old woman who quipped something quite witty that reminded me of what I hear when I was younger. My grandma used to say, "there's a lotta things worse than being alone, and one of 'em is wishin' that you were". Thank God I heard her say that to more than one of my cousins. I was young, but I fully understood what she meant and it made a world of difference.

Amazing dialogue mrs Maureen!!!You said them so nice and all are the pure truth!!!

I can't even explain how proud I am, of myself for being smart enough to never getting married. 35 years old and still going strong. So Cheers! Here's To Another 35 Years!

Marriage is one of those things in life you regret not doing, and regret equally for doing.

16:45 The idea that men cheat to stay in a marriage and women cheat to leave one is really profound and I don’t think we talk enough about it.

I am 72 years old and learned more from this video than I knew. Thank you.

Simply amazing advice. Appreciate so much

Muy buena charla (gracias por los subtítulos en español)

Oh my god. THIS is what a good Ted talk is like. Witty, direct and informative.

That was stunning, and expressed something I felt and I was not be able to say. Now I have that words, and feelings have their own names.

This sounds like visiting the graveyard of love. What happened to the days when the lady get turned on when she sees her man, or spending hours fantasizing about him, She set the stage because she is confident of her ability to inspire him and make him behave like a real man, Love, and respect from the man can inspire the lady to do her very best, it is all about the right atmosphere ,

Such a great talk ❤

If you get married, having good, well balanced, polite and helpful kids will make the family an airtight unit. Good kids does wonders for the well being of the parents and their marriage, but one person F's up and the whole family will suffer.

She has a standing ovation from me

Stumbled on this video but oh my word. This describes my marriage to the T. Shocking I found this just by chance. I feel a lot better knowing I’m not alone.

Quite informative.... some I can relate with. Thanks Maureen.

I’m married for about 8 years and have a daughter. My marriage is fine since we both are open to each other about stresses and intimacy. I do agree that playing with 📱 devices can be irritating if not enough attention is given tot he partner. I can add that physical attraction is important. My husband & I don’t dress like models, but we do try to look descent, have hygiene etc. I have seen some couples, where a partner just lets himself go. Hello

This honestly broke my ❤. So much truth here.

Well done. Funny and honest with a stubble difference between the two