I Was Almost A School Shooter | Aaron Stark | TEDxBoulder

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3 yıl önce

After growing up in painful, abusive conditions, Aaron Stark was on his way to an atrocity, until simple acts of kindness changed his life forever. What is causing the rise of violence and are our current fears and solutions just making it worse? My name is Aaron stark. I am 39 years old with 4 children, 2 cats, one dog, and a beautiful wife. I am a stay at home dad; my wife is the breadwinner of the family. I am a comic book fan, a pop culture junkie, and a lover of the sciences. I have more knowledge about superheros, pro wrestling, and comedy than anyone really has a right to. After growing up in very abusive and violent circumstances followed by over a decade if personal recovery, I am now a happy family man. I recently shred a very personal story of my triumph over my past, and it has changed my life forever. My mission is to let people know that no matter how dark it may seem, there is light coming. We really are not alone. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

YORUMLAR: 35 975
Paid'nGames
Paid'nGames 13 saatler önce
amazing
eunnie
eunnie Gün önce
You’re only a monster when you go through with the plans and start shooting. This man is brave and strong for doing this. I’m glad he has a happier life
Jose De Ocampo
Jose De Ocampo Gün önce
came here after inside edition blamed the oxford school shooting on video games
tonedef221
tonedef221 Gün önce
I'm glad you made it through. You never know what the a person is going through. They might need a friend or a smile. They might need just a hello. We are all human .. we are more alike then we can ever be different. We all know pain and sadness. But I it's the lack of empathy for others that scares me.
Ren V
Ren V Gün önce
I came right to this TED talk after the horrific event that occurred at Oxford. I wonder if the boy and parents saw this video beforehand, would it be different? How would our world change if people would initiate to seek and accept help?
Anything after this is wrong
Anything after this is wrong 2 gün önce
They should hire him to be a public speaker at schools.
princess lily
princess lily 2 gün önce
bad parenting and bullying just like the Michigan shooting. I’m glad his parents are getting sentences. unfortunately nobody helped him.
alexis
alexis 2 gün önce
"stark" is "strong" in german. he really lived up to his surname
mhungd
mhungd 2 gün önce
Big respect to this guy
BLUE_MASK_14
BLUE_MASK_14 3 gün önce
I'm sad this stuff happens and I could relate some
scaramooch E
scaramooch E 3 gün önce
And I was almost a Neuro surgeon
Sean Raggio
Sean Raggio 3 gün önce
❤️
Dalton Harrington
Dalton Harrington 3 gün önce
Exactly
Tim Correll
Tim Correll 3 gün önce
Wow... incredible story
Emo Walrus
Emo Walrus 3 gün önce
This video hit harder than others, if you know you know.
Franky
Franky 3 gün önce
Wow your so brave for not killing inocent people, this is no sense theres never a good reason for killing period
Apes
Apes 3 gün önce
Wow! Really brave insight into the progression of descent and hopelessness. Awesome and powerful.
Eric’s Creation’s
Eric’s Creation’s 3 gün önce
Bullying should be held accountable as just as bad as taking a human life then maybe it will stop
Eric’s Creation’s
Eric’s Creation’s 3 gün önce
Yep
Eric’s Creation’s
Eric’s Creation’s 3 gün önce
I’ve been there I was bullied too
Finneas Moore
Finneas Moore 3 gün önce
Every time a school shooting happens I come back to this video. It's easy to portray these people as unfeeling monsters but the the fact of the matter is some people go through every day what would make any reasonable person want to destroy everything.
Will Dwyer
Will Dwyer 4 gün önce
Sometimes giving somebody love means telling them to quit being a crybaby and take responsibility for their actions. The reason you didn't go through with your plans is because you you knew right from wrong. What you needed was within you all along. You didn't need your friend's help. Be glad you weren't put on psychiatric medications that would have masked your emotions and blinded your conscience.
Rodrigo Russo
Rodrigo Russo 4 gün önce
U have my respect man
woody thecow
woody thecow 4 gün önce
God bless you 🙏
JabberSneeze
JabberSneeze 4 gün önce
unfortunately kids are and will always be savages as much as blessings including adults
John demtopics
John demtopics 5 gün önce
Respect
Reid Bainbridge
Reid Bainbridge 5 gün önce
I immediately thought of him after I heard about the Michigan school shooting. People are throwing fingers at Ethan and his parents, justifiably, but we have yet to know his motives. For all we know he could have been struggling as this guy did. Unfortunately, this kid might not have been lucky enough to have that friend who might have talked him out of it. Reminder to other high schoolers: Talk to the quiet kid once in a while. Who knows, you just might save your school and/or the quiet kid. Be that friend that prevented a disaster from happening. Those same kids that take life may have just as much pain as they cause.
Aamna A
Aamna A 6 gün önce
''Give love to who we think deserves it the least cause they need it the most'' This lines will stick will me forever
Cathalia Loth
Cathalia Loth 6 gün önce
People used to joke that killing Republicans are a legitimate form of self-defense. Sadly Its not a joke anymore :(
Tengis Munkhbat
Tengis Munkhbat 6 gün önce
❤️
Jorge Perez
Jorge Perez 6 gün önce
I got teary eyed
Erick :
Erick : 6 gün önce
I be friends wit anyone
Turwaith
Turwaith 6 gün önce
This man and his story make me cry every time I listen to this talk.
juliana w
juliana w 8 gün önce
in high school i was in a similar boat as this man and i would watch this over and over during lunch where i would sit alone in the library. it kept me going- it gave me hope for something better
domsooch
domsooch 3 gün önce
@Aaron Stark The fact that you're still around actively talking to an replying to people in the comment section is incredible, god bless you
Aaron Stark
Aaron Stark 8 gün önce
Hello nice to meet you I'm glad you got help from my talk
Christopher Wallace
Christopher Wallace 9 gün önce
god thats incredibly brave to show the scars
Bwah
Bwah 9 gün önce
People who say they don't understand how anyone could ever do this should watch this video
Richie rich
Richie rich 6 gün önce
It depends on the shooter not all shooters are loners. Some people are honestly sociopathic and kill just to kill. It depends on the person
Larry Forbus
Larry Forbus 10 gün önce
Nobody: Litterly nobody: My recommended at 3 AM
Just Subscribe
Just Subscribe 10 gün önce
All the other kids
BlitzandChitzGaming
BlitzandChitzGaming 6 gün önce
Better run better run
prod jedkiowa
prod jedkiowa 8 gün önce
With the pumped up kicks
Supersport69
Supersport69 10 gün önce
Isn’t he the guy that stole woody from Andy’s moms yard sale and owned Al’s toy barn?
salvador lausanne
salvador lausanne 11 gün önce
I think if I stayed in a country like america where guns are easily available I would have possible be cone q school shorter or I would have shot my self. Your story, apart from the drug addicted parents, mine were alcoholics, sound very similar to mine. I remember telling a police officer that I was stealing lemonade bottles because my father had raided my piggy bank to go to the pub. He saying are you saying your father's a alcoholic ? I obviously had to say no, you could hear it in his tone. I do feel your pain. From a 58 year old man.
John Smith
John Smith 11 gün önce
This is nice and all, but what about all the people who don’t have friends, and so, unlike this man, have no one to turn to when they’re angry and depressed? What then?
Really Cool Bird
Really Cool Bird 11 gün önce
Be their friend
Ez-G
Ez-G 12 gün önce
I'm sure the school system still doesn't care.
Pawelandbajer
Pawelandbajer 12 gün önce
That was a strong sentence to begin the monologue with.
HutchHere
HutchHere 13 gün önce
*applause* "i was almost a school shooter." *applause immediately stops*
JoezfLogan
JoezfLogan 13 gün önce
So good. Not sure why there was only half the audience there after though...
The sockman
The sockman 13 gün önce
this was uploaded on saturday not tuesday
KEKW
KEKW 14 gün önce
wow, this one of the most powerful ted talk I've ever watched. It's short yet full of lessons.
LukeBuster87
LukeBuster87 14 gün önce
Amen to that, This was such a great speech
Gracious weasel
Gracious weasel 14 gün önce
i Remember the first time i saw this it was on the toilet. lol now im watching it on by bed
landon
landon 14 gün önce
schools are even worse today
Mr. Paperclip
Mr. Paperclip 14 gün önce
"love the ones you feel deserve it the least, because they need it the most"
Manas Bondale
Manas Bondale 14 gün önce
You know the TED talk was the bomb when the guy with crutches gets up to applaud.
Beast
Beast 14 gün önce
❤️❤️❤️
NashP 316
NashP 316 15 gün önce
One word. Big balls to say this
Aaron Stark
Aaron Stark 15 gün önce
That's five words. And thank you 🙂
thesadsmurf
thesadsmurf 15 gün önce
Everyone should hear a story like this. It helps us see someone else's perspective.
Chris Moyah from Saskatoon
Chris Moyah from Saskatoon 15 gün önce
THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY! COURAGEOUS!
ZombryaTheDark
ZombryaTheDark 16 gün önce
Stark means strength. You had and still have strength. Bless you and your friend
Glunters Exploration
Glunters Exploration 17 gün önce
Imagine saying this in a school as you present to students
Ayaya Tn
Ayaya Tn 17 gün önce
God bless the poor souls
Fancier Soap
Fancier Soap 17 gün önce
this man saved me from thinking of doing that
BetaWolf Gamer
BetaWolf Gamer 17 gün önce
“Love the ones you feel who deserve it the least because they need it most.” I felt that.
King Platinum
King Platinum 18 gün önce
I was almost one too I've struggled through the pain and depression barely holding on to the nice person I thought I was. I'm glad I'd finally able to move on from the pain I endured and venture to say things are good. Things do get better but it can be an arduous path. But always struggle writhe contend for that is what struggles do.
Hllw dunce
Hllw dunce 18 gün önce
ratio
TheAbele992
TheAbele992 18 gün önce
This guy: "Instead of looking at him as a threat, look at him as a friend" Also this guy: buys guns to shoot up a school or a mall food court
TheAbele992
TheAbele992 5 gün önce
@Shatter_TV It's true though
Shatter_TV
Shatter_TV 5 gün önce
ur not funny
TheAbele992
TheAbele992 18 gün önce
Rich of ReviewTechUSA after he failed his weight loss:
Breanna Doubek
Breanna Doubek 18 gün önce
I work at an alternative high school, where almost all of our students come from broken homes filled with abuse and addiction. I always ensure that we have an open line of communication. I want them to view me as almost like an older sister, somebody they can joke around with but also come to when they need it. That connection is more important to me than academics. You can't expect a student whose mother is in the middle of a drinking binge to focus on a math test. Stories like this make me proud of what I am doing. Giving students like him, a safe space where they feel comfortable and want to come to school.
Mikeadelic
Mikeadelic 19 gün önce
If you have thoughts like that you should be committed. End of story
EvensTide
EvensTide 19 gün önce
I have to say, this is to true and is one of the most powerful things ever that the English language doesn't give enough justice to how much emotion is in this and how much emotion this conveys. Be a Better person to the people who are the worst. Because they then become the best.
Sean Lucas
Sean Lucas 19 gün önce
Let me tell y’all something. No matter the amount of anger you have, you don’t shoot up a place. Thanks for not doing it, I guess. Creepy
nutsackmania
nutsackmania 20 gün önce
if you just *almost* shoot up a school you get a ted talk
Carla
Carla 20 gün önce
We have to give love to the people who we think deserve it the least. So true
Der Finder
Der Finder 20 gün önce
I'm crying
Jacob Miller
Jacob Miller 22 gün önce
bro
Barry
Barry 22 gün önce
👑
12thDecember
12thDecember 23 gün önce
The thing is, Aaron never really wanted to kill anybody, he just wanted to get rid of his pain. Thank goodness he had a friend who did not judge but accepted him for who he was. Such people are rare.
Samuel Charette
Samuel Charette 24 gün önce
Made me cry
The Double O 420 Show
The Double O 420 Show 24 gün önce
Silly
Da Skater
Da Skater 24 gün önce
I have guts of steel But I wouldn’t do that :|
John Cu
John Cu 25 gün önce
Lol how could a man like you let your wife be the one providing for the family.
Mommy
Mommy 25 gün önce
Oh wow I’m so sorry u went through that.
Rachel
Rachel 26 gün önce
Crying”
Sub for sub.
Sub for sub. 26 gün önce
In a way the government benefits from our problems the prison system is their money and death tree.
S Nagireddy
S Nagireddy 26 gün önce
it seems as though ur mind is involuntarily trying to suppress the memories. the tremble in ur voice hints that u've exhausted a lifetime of patience in ur childhood
FellowDan Barber
FellowDan Barber 26 gün önce
Man, they're just letting anyone do a Ted Talk. 😆
Brendan Carlin
Brendan Carlin 25 gün önce
?
Projected Thoughts
Projected Thoughts 28 gün önce
America’s fascination with guns will never not be baffling to the rest of the world. A gun advocate once told me he needs a gun to fight off the Government if/when they turn on the American people. I guess your gun will fend off the US Gov’s drones and unlimited resources 🤷🏽‍♂️
ratdog
ratdog 10 gün önce
you say this, but for some reason, despite all their drones and unlimited resources, the US has a long track record of losing wars to farmers with ak47's. why is that?
TheAbele992
TheAbele992 18 gün önce
We need guns to defend against the mob
courage the cowardly dog
courage the cowardly dog 29 gün önce
School doesn't only teach kids but turns them into killing machines
lukisnootis
lukisnootis 29 gün önce
I'm a gamer. So I can relate.
LA C
LA C Aylar önce
This hit hard. Growing up with abuse when I was at my lowest people were automatically cruel without even considering what might have happened. I felt treated like a danger and told I was bad without my really doing anything. Just easier to label a person than consider that they are going through something with no help or understanding.
Emily Soares
Emily Soares Aylar önce
this is the best ted talk so far. the whole audience was engaged. thank you
slo motion
slo motion Aylar önce
Wtf
eat the new God
eat the new God Aylar önce
I just came from Onion talks :)
Respect Tha G
Respect Tha G Aylar önce
I love this so much
Luka DIMITRIJEVIĆ
Luka DIMITRIJEVIĆ Aylar önce
Wow. Made me cry man ❤ a true king right here 👑
mads lund
mads lund Aylar önce
Good talk m8
Michele
Michele Aylar önce
poor man, you can't decide who your parents are. I'm so glad he carried on and eventually found Love.
lucy berry
lucy berry Aylar önce
who dislikes a ted talk, about people bettering themselfs. go help yourself please
Wildflower Persimmon
Wildflower Persimmon Aylar önce
i was almost a school shooter too. i was extremely frustrated with school bc i couldnt get approved for IEP for my diagnosed LD. i was labeled a bad seed and bullied severely by adults at school. i finally dropped out bc i was dealing with health issues and was set up to fail bc without an IEP i couldn't get my required maths and sciences credits to graduate. the most i actually did was throw a sandwich at someone and other ineffectual outbursts that didn't physically hurt anybody. but i understand why school shootings happen when it can be such a toxic and soul-crushing environment where everything is against you and so many fall through the cracks.
Video-Game OST HQ
Video-Game OST HQ Aylar önce
I was the person back in school giving the love to those who needed it the most, who might have also committed a school shooting. There were 3 people in high school who I saw get rejected by everyone, and I went out of my way to give them _someone_ -at least one friend-who treated them like humans. Among those 3, one in particular was widely suspected by our peers to be a possible shooter. I had given him rides home, borrowed some Dr. Demento CD’s from him (making sure to give them back clean and timely), and tried to include him in things when I could. One day while I partnered up with him for a project in Biology class, he said to me, “You know, everyone thinks I am going to be a school shooter. You’re probably like the only person in the school I couldn’t shoot.” To which I replied, non-judgmentally, “Well! That’s good to hear, but you know it wouldn’t work out that way! I WILL take a bullet for anyone in this school!” I gave him a grin that showed him I meant it and it seemed to really hit him. He was silent for a bit, thinking about something, then we carried on with the project. He never did a shooting, and I can never know how much a part of that I was, but I don’t need to know. Being kind to those who need it the most is its own reward, and it’s easy to see how it can stop potential shooters. Everyone is dealing with life in the way they think is best given what they know how to do. People tend to have valid reasons for being smelly or weird. All it takes is for that one person to not judge them based off things they can’t control-that one person to recognize their humanities and treat them as an equals. That one voice of validation. It’s free to give and, who knows, it may just save lives.
Connor Tayloe
Connor Tayloe Aylar önce
This is a great example that people can change
Jayden Peprah
Jayden Peprah Aylar önce
This man is what school needs to hear
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