How to Figure Out What You Really Want | Ashley Stahl | TEDxLeidenUniversity

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3 yıl önce

Have you ever wondered what you actually want? Then join Ashley Stahl-career coach, author, former counterterrorism and podcast host- as she shares her 3 key steps to help you connect to your life's purpose, discover your ideal career path, and make what she likes to call a "You Turn," the decision to get out of fear and tap into to what you actually want out of life. She hosts inspirational guests each week on her show, "the You Turn Podcast", with the intention of helping her listeners upgrade their mindset both in work and love, and land a new job they love. Ashley Stahl is a counterterrorism professional turned podcaster, forthcoming author, and career coach who helps clients find their purpose, build their confidence, and launch successful service-based businesses. Ashley also hosts inspirational guests each week on her show, the You Turn Podcast, with the intention of helping listeners work on themselves, raise their confidence-all while taking life less seriously.
Ashley’s been named a “Top 99 Foreign Policy Leader Under 33” by Diplomatic Courier Magazine and Young Professionals in Foreign Policy. She’s a columnist for Forbes, and her work has been featured on the Wall Street Journal, CBS, SELF, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune and more.
Ashley earned her Master’s degree in IR from King’s College London, and another Master’s in Spiritual Psychology at the University of Santa Monica. She holds a BA from University of Redlands in government, history and French. She's a fluent French speaker, and intermediate in Arabic. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Ivylib Yıl önce
"Perfectionism is a mask we all wear when we're afraid of failure." Hits my heart.
Marlon Valcq
Marlon Valcq 3 aylar önce
Felipee Coelho
Felipee Coelho 4 aylar önce
how true!
DASTAN JAN 5 aylar önce
@3Alienigena 3Atea what do you mean by "didnt teach me how to envy"
DASTAN JAN 5 aylar önce
@Dpt.Yasser Halka me too
Marlon Valcq
Marlon Valcq 5 aylar önce
Modal Soul
Modal Soul Yıl önce
9:44 Step 1 - *Self Audit* Ask yourself: What's working? What isn't working? Fear and criticism hold us back. What is something you are afraid to admit to yourself, what is something that you _know_ is true that you wish wasn't? 12:30 Step 2 - *Follow Your Freedom* Follow what feels good to you. But how do you know what feels good to you? "Trust your gut" (way easier said than done) Pay attention to your feelings. Keep a joy journal- make a note of moments that light you up and inspire you. Ask how to connect your inspiration with skill. Because when we are acting through inspiration, there is an absence of fear. 16:30 Step 3 - *Engagement* " *Clarity comes from engagement, it does not come from thought* " Decide on something that feels good, and make a commitment. You can adjust along the way. Thought paralysis is far worse than doing things improperly- you don't learn anything by over analyzing but you always benefit from engagement. Overall a decent talk. Heard a lot of this stuff before- nothing groundbreaking and nothing insanely insightful. But she is a great speaker.
miguel salazar
miguel salazar 9 gün önce
I have an English assignment on this video so this helps a lot thanks
Väinö Uppa
Väinö Uppa Aylar önce
Actually needed this It felt like the goal of the talk wasn't established firmly enough and I had a hard time following where they were taking the talk
Meditation and Relaxation Motivation
Meditation and Relaxation Motivation Aylar önce
Thank you for sharing your notes with us 💛💐
octiiXpies Aylar önce
Humans aren't really as innovative as we think we are
California Cajun
California Cajun 2 aylar önce
only decent? do you have any ideas on how to make it better?
Mind Body Relaxation
Mind Body Relaxation Yıl önce
To everyone who is experiencing a difficult situation: To shoot an arrow you have to pull it backwards. So when life drags you back with some troubles, it means it's going to launch into something better.
Yusuf Sekinat
Yusuf Sekinat 6 gün önce
Thank you
sav 7 gün önce
Marlon Valcq
Marlon Valcq 3 aylar önce
I hope so... It seems like an endless battle.
Esh 3 aylar önce
Love this ❤
ma. madelyn bingco
ma. madelyn bingco 4 aylar önce
Thank you. I don't know but I've been feeling this worse for the last two years.
Beka Firefox
Beka Firefox Yıl önce
“Show up. See what the universe will give you. Make a commitment. And know that you can course-correct along the way.” Loved this advice!
Chethak M.P.
Chethak M.P. Yıl önce
me too! :) you look nice in your profile pic @Beka Firefox
Elev8ted Spirits
Elev8ted Spirits Yıl önce
Eye really appreciate how Eye happened to read this comment JUST as she was saying it, was like double confirmation for me in the moment in what’s been going on for me and why Eye’m watching this video again today. 🤍🙌🏽💫🦋🌹 so needed the reminder both times, at the same time, thank you both.💯🌹🤍
Martina Ruffo Vicino
Martina Ruffo Vicino Yıl önce
it’s crazy how she managed to start the conversation with a traumatic situation and leaded it to the point of her talk. i love it
Kryptonite 11 aylar önce
riveting, but a misdirect. it had me ready to hear how she spearheaded the investigation that brought down an international kidnapping scam
Chethak M.P.
Chethak M.P. Yıl önce
Yes! amazing!
Ryan Holden
Ryan Holden 3 aylar önce
This is honestly one of the best TEDTalks I've ever seen. The universe lead me to seeing this one tonight after I watched like seven other ones before yours. I'm starting my Joy journal tomorrow and I'm excited to make my u-turn! Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Mariia KH
Mariia KH 2 aylar önce
I hope you have succeed!~ And it was not 'universe', it was God who created universe.
Divya Nallapuram
Divya Nallapuram 2 aylar önce
How're things going for you?
J K 2 aylar önce
marco 99'
marco 99' 2 aylar önce
If you watched 7 videos like this it isn't universe which lead you to this one
Eunice Sandoval
Eunice Sandoval 2 aylar önce
How’s your joy journal coming along?
Charles Merkel
Charles Merkel Yıl önce
Biggest take away was "Clarity comes from engagement ... it does not come from thought" -- Solid gold!
P Aylar önce
@Freyja Wired There is no unconscious mind fundamentally. When you become more aware you will realise this.
Freyja Wired
Freyja Wired Aylar önce
@P You are Super committed to your story about your executive brain function, and guaranteed You have Zero connection to your other Forms and Processes of Brain Functions or other expressions of your cognitive self. like the unconscious mind that is awake 24/7 your entire life, but keep over valuing executive thinking as the end all be all of What Is You. be incurious. that's all you have shared here is you are scared to engage your unconscious.
P 3 aylar önce
@WE LOVE MUSIC There is nothing physical. There is a ruleset to make things seem solid for our growth for interactions but ultimately everything is in the eye of the experiencer . This it is only thought
WE LOVE MUSIC 3 aylar önce
@P we cannot boil down everything to thought...there is a physical manifestation of it as well because if there weren't a physical manifestation...a thought would be a fleeting meaningless idea at the back of your head
WE LOVE MUSIC 3 aylar önce
@P not just a thought...but a feeling as well
Andrea Massiel Dubón Argüello
Andrea Massiel Dubón Argüello 7 aylar önce
I am currently in the last semester of a career I studied because I thought would meet the expectations the world had for me, not because I actually liked it. Me, myself and I was the only one who kidnapped me from making the decision I really wanted. I was scared of not having the money, I was scared of not being good enough for something else. Honestly there is so much of me in this TED talk and so much that I needed to hear. We are our own kidnappers. Of course I'm still young and I'm sure I didn't waste my time. I just have to figure out what is it that I love and go for it, not settle to a career that doesn't make me happy.
Beautiful Day
Beautiful Day 5 aylar önce
Good luck! As a 67 year old who missed the mark several times, I am happy that you got to hear this now, knowing that you can 'course correct along the way'. Loved that!
Lalala Yıl önce
“People who call themselves realists are often just dreamers who got their hearts broken somewhere along the way.” That hit the nail on the head for me. I’m so beaten down by life and men that I’ve created a reality where I am happier alone. I truly feel more content now that I’ve been single for 6 years than I ever was when I was someone’s girlfriend for 16 years. Yet, I’m a hopeless romantic and all I want is a to call a good man my husband someday. ~sigh~
Chris Ramenda
Chris Ramenda 5 aylar önce
Reminded me of George Carlin‘s line: “I’m not a cynic. I’m a disappointed idealist.”
Joyelle 8 aylar önce
I feel the same way.
Naynay 8 aylar önce
Same here 100%
Karamveer Swami
Karamveer Swami 8 aylar önce
Another hopeless romantic and almost same situation, but I hope God bless you
zed9642 Yıl önce
I needed inspiration so bad today. This helped me so much. People tell us to ‘follow our dreams’ and ‘do what feels good’. She has actually told us how to make that happen, while also explaining why we find this so hard to do.
Rena Levy-Las Vegas Real Estate
Rena Levy-Las Vegas Real Estate Yıl önce
" Often we kidnap ourselves from the life that we really want" just hit home! I shall remember this every time I let fear get in the way.
Abra Cadavra
Abra Cadavra 9 aylar önce
I don't think people realize what this woman just managed to do in under 20 min. Every teaching of hers put together births the perfect recipe for a massive world shift, if only more people would truly listen and apply it to their lives. Calling you a genius would be an understatement. You're a life saver.
Inner-Healing w/Brenda Basco
Inner-Healing w/Brenda Basco 4 aylar önce
@J Andersen You get to be abusive because as a male human it is a normal way of being - such a sad state for the world.
J Andersen
J Andersen 4 aylar önce
@Inner-Healing w/Brenda Basco Totally bitter answer with no substance from you.
Inner-Healing w/Brenda Basco
Inner-Healing w/Brenda Basco 4 aylar önce
@J Andersen Totally a superficial and unrealistic gut level guidance to nowhere
J Andersen
J Andersen 7 aylar önce
My gut tells me that I want to become super rich and sleep with hot young women. I also like to eat good food.
Mafe Garcia
Mafe Garcia 3 yıl önce
You really hit me with the "Realists are often just dreamers who got their hearts broken along the way" I call myself a realist :(
Freyja Wired
Freyja Wired Aylar önce
why do you Need the label "realist" 😉
Mtnsunshine 3 aylar önce
I agree.
Jake Thomas
Jake Thomas 4 aylar önce
Marlon Valcq
Marlon Valcq 5 aylar önce
Senna Roebroek
Senna Roebroek Yıl önce
"See your career as an experiment that really meets you where you are. A vehicle for your own selfexpression." Love, love, love this!
B Juliana Leo
B Juliana Leo Aylar önce
I'm 71 years old (Feel younger)...but that number sometimes boggles me with how fast I got here. The title of this talk somehow crossed my path, and I had to listen to this. I recently made a move to another State, alone. Made some lifestyle changes, in an effort to downsize. Moving to an area I knew nothing about, but the 'place' jumped out to me. It brought up some fears, and some exciting promises that I thought, perhaps I might re-write a story in my Self. Everything she mentioned, hit me like a gut punch. And brought up some anger too. What the heck am I afraid of! I've lived a life of fearful events (abuse), and yet I survived them. I did some good things (caregiving) for others, yet each time, I lost my own footing. I set my plans aside. I honestly don't feel like I have much time left, my Mom died at 84 - tho' my Dad died at 62. I purposefully changed lifestyle habits, to stay healthier. Now what do I do? THIS may be an old talk from 3 years ago - but IT might just be the thing I needed to hear Today, in 2023.
A S 10 gün önce
I hope your new start brings you all you need and much joy ❤
Frankie Howard
Frankie Howard 27 gün önce
I’d love to hear from you. 30 (31 monday) I’m so glad this is what you needed and our age difference aside, we’re in the same space.
T Belho
T Belho Aylar önce
Hello. Good to hear your story. I hope you are living the best life in your new home. Regards and prayers from Nagaland, India. I hear you.
Piece of cake
Piece of cake 8 aylar önce
I was watching this with goosebumps and tears in my eyes. SO well spoken, SO easily but smartly explained. Thank you SO much for this eye opening TEDxTalk. You have no idea how bad I needed this at the very moment.
Sungria Aloha 凱欣
Sungria Aloha 凱欣 7 aylar önce
Same here❤️
Kenny SL G
Kenny SL G 4 aylar önce
This is hands down the absolute BEST TED Talk I've ever listened to. I've listened to so many amazing ones, but I truly felt this one like no other. She speaks with absolute conviction, emotion, and passion, and it truly inspires me as a person.
Because Ican
Because Ican Yıl önce
I cried watching this talk. As a victim of scam call that took away my savings in a foreign country and as someone who denied herself so many opportunities by being my own prisoner, this hit home! Gosh I need long to sit with myself and get through all my feels!
Hedda Joy Tady-Tan
Hedda Joy Tady-Tan Yıl önce
Your dad did not just give his power away. He managed to have your mom call 911. To have clarity in that moment, your dad is super human.
M Gurt
M Gurt 7 aylar önce
I think she meant it in a way that relates to her main topic: by saying "giving away his power" she just means that was the moment when he decided the scam was real. He gave up his power to the situation -- kind of like tunnel vision -- because he wouldnt call the police unless he was certain someone was in danger. And I guess in some ways people have tunnel vision in this way about what their capacities are in life. You give up your power by forgetting about everything else. Either way its def not a dig on her dad and he did absolutely do the right thing. But he still got fooled. Lol
Jordans random YouTube
Jordans random YouTube 9 aylar önce
I mean he did give his power away, but he still had the clarity to ask his wife to call 911
3Alienigena 3Atea
3Alienigena 3Atea Yıl önce
@MS F says we seen, it didn'tlookrealtoomanytimes. Why would wewant that for her? She's an atheist and weveallbenatheistofheratheism. Wepretendwereonthesameteam, we're not,weclaim..
MS F Yıl önce
she lacks the perspective to see this kind of immeasurable love - in the 1% chance it was real, he would do anything to protect her.
Jolene Byrne
Jolene Byrne Yıl önce
Agreed. She took the wrong lesson from what happened. He contacted the police despite his terror. That’s powerful. He loves her and would do anything to keep her safe. Wish she had expressed her gratitude instead of criticism.
AbundantB Yıl önce
This TED talk hit different! “Perfectionism is a mask we all wear when we’re afraid of failure”.. this has held me back the majority of my life! Inspiring and transformative articulation of what many of us struggle with Ashley!
Salvador Hurtado
Salvador Hurtado 2 aylar önce
I have strayed so far from myself chasing an expectation I had since when I was 21. I am 27 now and it’s okay to know that goals change. I need to make a u-turn and feel alive again. Thank you ! I’m ready to feel good
Simply Chinmayee
Simply Chinmayee Yıl önce
"People who Call themselves realists are the ones who got their heart broken somewhere along the way"....this woman is beyond genius. I'm SO SO glad I came across this video.
Illyana Rasputin
Illyana Rasputin 9 aylar önce
@James Wilkerson my heart was broken at 3yo.... Then at 7yo, then at 11yo, tem at 15yo, at 30 I resigned without any plan in mind! I just can't find a thing I like to pursue in the work field.....
James Wilkerson
James Wilkerson Yıl önce
If you haven’t had your heart broken, you’re probably
ShortyRA 8 aylar önce
“See your career as an experiment…” wow, a total 360 from what most of us 50 and over were taught. I’ve been with the same company for many years. I thought this was a good thing. I was being a loyal employee. I was stable and not a job hopper. However, it’s time to rethink this before it’s too late for me. Thanks so much for these words of wisdom. Excellent!
castudy videos
castudy videos Yıl önce
I love her articulated points.very well delivered. Every second is worth watching this video. Thanks Ashley and TED.
evergreen 8 aylar önce
A little bit too much of a performance. Felt very Disney.
Sabila Syarafina
Sabila Syarafina 3 yıl önce
notes 1. self audit -> seeing things as they are 2. follow what feels good / your freedom -> write joy journal 3. engage -> take action. connecting to the truth, the body
NightSky777 6 aylar önce
Hey, Appreciate the Notes/Summary! Thank yoy!
Eline 8 aylar önce
1. See things as they are: How am I holding myself captive? What do you know that you wish you didn't know. 2. What feels good? Follow your gut, feel your body. Do you feel anxiety/disconnect in your nerves? Trust it. See your career as an experiment. A vehicle for your own self expression. 3. Joy journal: write down the moment that lit you up each day. Are there patterns in your inspiration? 4. Action: clarity comes from engagement, it does not come from thought. You can course hop along the way.
Chocolates & Quills
Chocolates & Quills Yıl önce
Thanks mate
Aritul Yıl önce
Thank you.
DanceWithLife Yıl önce
Thank you ❤💋
Jaunice R
Jaunice R Yıl önce
“perfectionism is the enemy of action”. It hits different when you know that’s what is holding you back 🥺
Raj Niranjan
Raj Niranjan 4 aylar önce
We give in to our fears thinking we don't have another option. Loved this video.
shanelle o
shanelle o Aylar önce
im 28 and still very unsure about what im doing in life. this is really inspiring to me. i hope these steps help me feel better about myself and my life
Juan Sanchez
Juan Sanchez 3 aylar önce
What an amazing ted talk from such an intelligent person. Thank you for sharing your insights and story. I enjoyed every minute of this ted talk
Akintayo Ayomide
Akintayo Ayomide 5 aylar önce
“Clarity comes from engagement not thought” you just answered my prayers 😅 phew, about time.
Zesty The Walrus
Zesty The Walrus Yıl önce
This TedTalk was just fantastic. She is a phenomenal speaker, shame the mic quality didn't match her.
temi 11 aylar önce
@Patrick Mac Millan Wise decision Patrick. I did as well. More important to me to hear the speaker than anything else. I decided that very quickly. I chose.
temi 11 aylar önce
@Vincent Pascoe I agree 100% Vincent.
temi 11 aylar önce
I was riveted to her talk. Powerful. Genuine. Insightful.
Mr Maramind
Mr Maramind Yıl önce
@Lewoke Crybaby James exactly
3Alienigena 3Atea
3Alienigena 3Atea Yıl önce
@Zesty @Giovanni Kague 👋®️🍃🌴🧠🌲👩‍🎤🔚🔚🔚🎥 you knew that's Satanic?? Nope is Satanic 🤣 she actually just found out?? Who's lying??
Shawq Assed
Shawq Assed Yıl önce
The way she used that story to demonstrate her point is insane! Also love the conclusion. Thank you for this and bless your family for being so strong!
Steevane Yıl önce
I've really been trying to think my way through confusion but I always just end up more confused. Thank you for making me understand that clarity comes from engagement, not thought. This is my intentional social media imprint to deciding to engage more than overthink.
Lilith Aylar önce
I really like the idea of taking the joy journal, actually I am not a good student because I just don't want to admit that I hate my major, I want to smile when my everyday starts, I don't want to be really drown. Your story, your body language really makes the whole speech relaxing, in your voice I heard a compassionate person. I love you Ashley.
J K 2 aylar önce
I am turning 27 this month. I feel like I am having a mid life crisis. I am lost but this speech has given me hope for my future and redirection. I cant wait to experiment tomorrow on my Joy Journal❤️
Nguyen Nguyen
Nguyen Nguyen 6 aylar önce
Great talk. She was calm and deliver her message so well. “What skill set am I using when I’m the most inspired?” makes me rethinking about what I’d love to do and am I doing what I love?. I think I have been kidnapped 😢
Hibathu Naseer K.I
Hibathu Naseer K.I 2 yıl önce
Dear younger self, I'm sorry for denying you opportunities because I chose fear over happiness.
Jenro643 8 aylar önce
Welp... that hit home for me
Champion Villager
Champion Villager Yıl önce
@Dark_Abyss Fear keeps you keeping yourself safe. How happy are you in danger? Fear is part of happiness.
MusicaAlly Yıl önce
I chose safe choices out of fear over risks. I regret the me missed opportunities in my late 20s and early 30s.
20 02
20 02 Yıl önce
I would be happy if i start my own business and work to make it a success. My fear tells me I should just get a degree like everyone else. It’s a hard decision
Shyamashree Sengupta
Shyamashree Sengupta Yıl önce
@Uthman Khawn I’m
Ngocoder 10 aylar önce
"Perfectionism is the mask we all wear when we are afraid of failure". That quote describes me. I call myself a perfectionist. I want to do things great, better than everyone else. But deep down, all I want is not to be a failure.
Wen Wen
Wen Wen Aylar önce
I recently read Ashley's book "You Turn," and it prompted me to reflect on my career path and reexamine what I do for myself and the impact it has on the people around me.
Yasmin Quasne
Yasmin Quasne 10 aylar önce
This is amazing. I am trying to find my way out of depression and honestly I think it all comes from repressing what I've always wanted to do. I wanted to be a writer, a poet, a lyricist. The closer I got was freelancing as a proofreader for song lyrics. I perfected my craft for years and now I am a good writer who uses this hability in corporate jobs and not to become the artist I thought I would be.
Keisha Rochelle
Keisha Rochelle 7 aylar önce
You should definitely go for it! I’d read your poetry.
Marcia Baltimore
Marcia Baltimore Yıl önce
I resonate with this so much. Thank you for sharing, Had I heard this early on in my life, I would not have wasted time majoring and mastering in fields that did not serve me. I ended up in a field that was so far removed from what I spent years studying. You are brilliant!
Verna Harris
Verna Harris Yıl önce
Wow! What a story!!! Good lesson. I grew up without a father. I would love to have experience the love her father had for her for just one day. Don't take your loved ones for granted.
Andy Luu
Andy Luu 2 yıl önce
My key takeaway: - To figure out what you want, really take a look at yourself and figure out what makes you feel good (i.e. What do you like doing)? Shoot your shot, show up, commit, and try it. If it doesn't work out, go for the next one. My notes: Steps for a You-turn: 1) Do a self audit. Ask: ○ What's working for you? What isn't? ○ What do you know that you wish you didn't know? What are you scared to face? See things for what they actually are (and where you actually are). 2) Follow your freedom a. What do you like? What makes you feel good? b. Usually when you follow what feels good, your purpose is in front of you, or on the periphery c. Follow your gut listen if you feel anxiety or anxiousness d. List out your ideas/things you think you want. Do you feel: i. Joy or fear? ii. Excitement or Dread? iii. Expansion or contraction? iv. Liberation or suffocation? e. Try writing a joy journal (30 days) i. Write down every moment that brings joy to you ii. Then look at any patterns in inspiration -> what skillset am i using when I'm the most inspired? 3) Engage a. Take action. Don't go for perfectionism, dont be afraid to fail In summary: Try things. Show up and commit to something that you like. You can always course correct if things don't go well.
La Peaches
La Peaches Yıl önce
You're amazing... Of course you already know that 🌞😎🌻
migatoish Yıl önce
Thank you. She’s a great speaker but you summarize it beautifully
Krupa Solanki
Krupa Solanki Yıl önce
Thanks for this!
Lili Marndi Vlog
Lili Marndi Vlog Yıl önce
Thank You Bro
Henry Chang
Henry Chang Yıl önce
Rewatching it again now makes me wonder what I was doing after watching it the first time. I forgot how long it has been since I watched it the first time, but maybe this time I truly understand it; I can connect and relate to it now. This was such an amazing talk, and her story is inspiring, to say the least. How could someone learn and gain something so valuable after an incident like that? That kind of compassion is what people need. Many lines in her speech hit home and really give me energy. Thank you, Ashley Stahl.
Jody Kennedy
Jody Kennedy Yıl önce
First and foremost this is a fantastic talk. I’m confused however, why doing what makes you “feel good” is any different than following your passion or doing what you love. That’s exactly what these saying are advising you to do. What feels good to you, what you love and what you’re passionate about are all the same in my mind. If one of them leads to nowhere than they all do. Every other word of this talk is truly profound to me. Thank-you 😊
Gökdeniz Özkan
Gökdeniz Özkan 8 aylar önce
There is a difference between "feeling joy" and "having fun". Joy doesn't mean to have fun but rather an urge to go on, another level of a feeling that drives you. Like... when you watch an horror movie, you don't have fun but you may feel joy. The source of it may not be clear, the reason why you feel it may not be certain, but there is a little difference between the two. Maybe she was stressing that difference by telling "go by the way you feel good" instead of just "passion or sth you love". At least that what came into my mind, I believe the use of "joy" word is a deliberate choice.
MyOther Username
MyOther Username Yıl önce
If you DON'T know your passion, start anywhere, and adjust your work based on results, and you will get closer to what you love.I Does that help?
diana Yıl önce
they’re small sayings, but she tells you how to find what you like to do
Noreen Joy Goguanco
Noreen Joy Goguanco 6 aylar önce
This is one of the most moving TEDx Talks I've watched. Started with a captivating story and ended with emphasis on engagement--"Clarity comes from engagement; it does not come from thought."
Tarot by Semaj
Tarot by Semaj 8 aylar önce
Brilliant Talk. You really offered some good things to think about, and how we can all do a "YOU-Turn" on our own lives, allowing us to live AUTHENTIC, instead of a life shrouded in Fear. Thank you for sharing your incredible story and for leading gently back to ourselves.
Fernandez Joe
Fernandez Joe 4 aylar önce
*I’m 48years old living in California.I’m hoping to retire at 50 if things keep going well for me. Bought my first house last month and I can’t be more proud that I’m now. I’m glad made a great decision about my finances that change me forever*
Ashley 4 aylar önce
Thanks to you all for testimonies,it has helped greatly I thought they were not real but I will bodly testify..her strategies is awesome
Donald inks
Donald inks 4 aylar önce
I remember friends calling me crazy when I started at first but I now shut up them with my figure weekly return
Rem Liebert
Rem Liebert 4 aylar önce
A friend that I referred to her from UK just received £9,055 profit after 14 days of trading.. Just jealous asf. Lol
JEFFREY 4 aylar önce
I met Mrs Harry Ava in a conference meeting last year for the first time in Washington DC. invested $20,000 and the trade ended in one month.making close to$175,000
Elena A
Elena A 2 yıl önce
"Clarity comes from engagement, not from thought." Damn, girl, you are ON it. I'm what you would call an overthinker, and have been overthinking for months about something now. It's time to take action.
Nancy Vishwakarma
Nancy Vishwakarma Yıl önce
How to engage to get clarity?
peacejoy Yıl önce
@Andrés Collinucci yeah me too wish I know how
Watermelon Sugarhi
Watermelon Sugarhi Yıl önce
Thank you for highlighting this fact I'm an over thinker too
C Kirkman
C Kirkman Yıl önce
Same here, I also spread out my focus on so many things trying to figure out what I enjoy for work and/or pleasure. I need to narrow my vision and tackle something. Let's do it together bro!
Snake Lucas
Snake Lucas Yıl önce
Everyone has a dream you just haven’t discover it yet
Donna W
Donna W Yıl önce
"I didn't think there was a better option" When she said this, I went all the way back to the time I chose the career I'm in now for the same reasons she mentioned. I have stability, but I've never been satisfied.
Collin Snow
Collin Snow Yıl önce
Every relationship ever
j.p. c
j.p. c Yıl önce
Thank you, Ashley, for this wonderful and insightful talk about career and life, in general. I sorely needed the pieces of advice and the steps to rediscover the path I actually want to take. I haven't pieced through what I really want, but this is a good start to a lifelong pursuit of finding purpose in life. I hope that anyone who comes across this talk would find theirs as well. Here's wishing all the best to everyone!
Sanika Matade
Sanika Matade Yıl önce
I am a teenager . Seeing the senior citizens around me . Like some of them wanted to do this or that when they were young but because of some reasons they couldn't. Seeing this video , i would fully and certainly follow what i love and enjoy in my life . I am mostly an artist. I would not let myself to see me through other people 's eyes . I would put my efforts and make the dream in to a reality . Thank you for posting this video ted talks.
Taeri 태리
Taeri 태리 Yıl önce
"People who call themselves realists are often just dreamers who got their hearts broken somewhere along the way." That's sad but very powerful.
Ted Simpson
Ted Simpson 7 aylar önce
"Do a self-audit. Follow what feels good. Engage." Priceless, simple advice!
Yatha Sharma
Yatha Sharma 3 yıl önce
I burst into tears when she told about her father's reaction after learning she is safe and not actually kidnapped. 😭
Plusval Yıl önce
lisa hunt
lisa hunt Yıl önce
Me too
Sarah Mishou
Sarah Mishou 2 yıl önce
Me too😭
Talia Epps
Talia Epps 2 yıl önce
伏見ソラ 2 yıl önce
me too ;-;
Avantika Bishnoi
Avantika Bishnoi 2 aylar önce
I actually feel my gut listening to this TEDx. I cried when you said, "deep down you are hiding from the truth."
Jada Murrxo
Jada Murrxo Yıl önce
“People who call themselves “realists” are often just dreamers who get their hearts broken, somewhere along the way” - I felt that
Marlon Valcq
Marlon Valcq 3 aylar önce
aignaciodc Yıl önce
100% over and over
David Gonzalez
David Gonzalez 5 aylar önce
Thank you Ashley. What happened to your dad also happened to me and I too was as traumatized. Thinking about when, why and with whom I give away my power is a gift! Thank you🙏
Nino Italiano
Nino Italiano 7 aylar önce
My problem is that sometimes what feels good actually seems to be the right thing to do because it keeps me in my comfort zone. Therefore, I struggle with understanding what I truly want to do because I'm afraid of failure or being uncomfortable/stepping out of my comfort zone, even if the outcome could be amazing. I have to choose what I want to do in college and I'm panicking because I can't seem to understand what I really want to do, some things feel too ambitious, others too simple, others don't apply to the type of role I'd like to play in society... idk...
Justen M
Justen M Yıl önce
To those apologizing to their younger selves. I understand that. But what if, Instead of apologizing to your past. Make a promise to your future self instead. To be inspired by pure positive emotions and your surroundings and to promise yourself to be happier and enjoy life.
nyx777 9 aylar önce
or maybe just do both :)
3Alienigena 3Atea
3Alienigena 3Atea Yıl önce
@DEBRA SKINNER says youdonthaveaheart.
Thank you, I needed this so much at this very moment❤
Beautiful spirits
Beautiful spirits Yıl önce
“When you are in your inspiration, you are not being run or kidnapped by your fears”…This is the best Ted Talk I’ d ever heard👏🏻👏🏻
Saronn Pov
Saronn Pov 4 aylar önce
Powerful ! The kidnapping analogy really hit home for me. Thank you so much for this 🙏🏼❤️
Sabine Crossen
Sabine Crossen 7 aylar önce
I REALLY enjoyed this. Excellent speaker, clear, concise, full of emotion and truth, a wonderful reminder that we are allowed to be joyful, live a life that makes us happy, and being truthful to ourselves...frees us 💝 Thank you Ashley !
Jennifer W
Jennifer W 5 aylar önce
Wow. This was really powerful. That story was palpable! All I did was search for "how to find out what you really want" because I needed guidance. So glad this came up. I"m sharing it with my sister.
Amelia Yıl önce
Wow what a powerful tool this is for realising what you authentically desire and deserve. After weeks of contemplation about my next steps by the end of this video I had finally allowed myself to listen to that inner voice that I had been quietening for months on end, out of fear of failure. Now for the hardest part… to overcome fear and take action. Thank you for sharing this, it was an illuminating talk that led to an enlightening moment for me. ✨
dsdqwefqwed 3 yıl önce
She is really an INCREDIBLE speaker.
Collin Snow
Collin Snow Yıl önce
Unfortunately the mic didn’t think so 🥲
V Tymes
V Tymes Yıl önce
@lifewithsasha thanks
Viduzzhi Verma
Viduzzhi Verma 2 yıl önce
Miranda Liu
Miranda Liu 2 yıl önce
ZER0 - زيرو ur using ‘simp’ wrong this person was just complimenting her -_-
Eggman 2 yıl önce
ZER0 - زيرو if she were 60 years old you wouldn't call it simping
Piano Mi
Piano Mi Yıl önce
Im already feeling happier by laying down and thinking about conversations with people i had today, the moments of joy and laugh, the freedom of being vulnerable by freely expressing my needs and concerns.. I just hope i will carry on this way tomorrow 💕🙏
Valeria Odriozola
Valeria Odriozola Yıl önce
"I think about how the truth always really does leave clues" so true, hits differently. Great Ted Talk 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Harsh sharma
Harsh sharma Yıl önce
Girl you really give me a wake up call. I was doing good in my life but suddenly felt so lost within myself. I ruined relationships i had and just couldn't listen to my inner voice. I know that I have the caliber to excel in things that will make me feel good. All in one advice that Hit me is about perfectionism. I was too afraid to try anything new because of criticism. Always doubting myself. But surely your advice will work up. Thank you for giving this masterpiece.
Alicia Z
Alicia Z Yıl önce
Thank you, Ashley!! So many topics hit home for me! I have a path of self-improvement to embarck upon. The gut is amazing and has been telling me to leave my job for a long time now. I am finally listening.
Andrea Del Mar
Andrea Del Mar 4 aylar önce
WOW what a beginning! Ashley you are so inspiring. I couldn't hold my tears. Thank you Ashley. This helped me immensely and I needed this right freaking now.
Marcia Baker
Marcia Baker Yıl önce
I love that notion of careers being vehicles for your self-expression. It makes the idea of changing careers so much easier to digest, since there's always an emphasis on just climbing the ladder than jumping around to suit oneself as they grow and change.
Dellan Fielding
Dellan Fielding 11 aylar önce
Thank you! Agreed
AshleyStahl Yıl önce
parizad aria
parizad aria 8 aylar önce
Great speech. It is awesome that you could learn lessons of the stories in your life not just to pass. It's crucial to look carefully at our lives to find out about ourselves from our words to our behaviours.
Love and life with Nic Adams
Love and life with Nic Adams Yıl önce
A natural talent for public speaking for sure. Just what I needed to hear at a searching point in my life. Bravo Ashley x
Melanie Love
Melanie Love 9 aylar önce
Great presentation! Riveting intro and she ties it all together. Loved the questions. Haven't asked myself what I'm pretending not to know in a while so busting out the journal to see what comes up. Will be looking for more of her content.
Adamary Hernandez
Adamary Hernandez Yıl önce
I can’t believe how she turned a personal situation into a whole TedTalk to inspire and change someone’s choice life. This is by far the best TedTalk video I’ve heard! The three steps are amazing to take a U Turn in your life, thank you.
Brittany Anne Murphy 🌸
Brittany Anne Murphy 🌸 Yıl önce
@AshleyStahl wow, you responded .. lol.
AshleyStahl Yıl önce
Thank you so so much for your kind words 💗
Gianna Mantzani
Gianna Mantzani 6 aylar önce
I cried at multiple moments. Can't believe that in less than 20' she made such a full, great, encouraging speech. It is the speech that has most touched me deep inside. I wanna add that what we want should be what the society needs. Our species is designed to keep improving as a species, as a society. And the world is suffering cause of the actions of selfish, arrogant people.
Jhoubz 12 gün önce
This is the talk I needed to hear today. You saved me. Thank you.
Anmol Kasaundhan
Anmol Kasaundhan 11 aylar önce
nicely explained and very practical talk! really learnt a lot and noted down also many things! Thanks Ted and Ashley Stahl for sharing this!
B Fuentes
B Fuentes Yıl önce
This was a profound message. I agree with most of it. However, in the past I have followed what I thought I wanted at the time and came to find that feelings are fickle and that the heart is deceiving. I won't always chase what feels good. Even now, I find myself with the same neurochemicals begging me to make a choice and engage on something that is completely unwise.
Boo In The Lotus
Boo In The Lotus 8 aylar önce
@Elzbieta Gierlik Maybe The flip side of “what gives you joy” is what she calls course-correction. When feelings change or are based on people/situations/results that turn out not to be what they looked like when you were “energized” by them, having/identifying deeper beliefs/a system of values can help you interpret what’s happened, And course-correct. It can also make a big difference to get help with all this.Anyway, I’m sorry you had to go through this and May you find someone else to share your good feelings with who is truly worthy of them.
Elzbieta Gierlik
Elzbieta Gierlik Yıl önce
I think, that common sense is very important too. I met a younger guy, I had good feelings about him, I started a relationship and at the end it turned out he wanted to use my house, my car for free and to use my professional connections to build his bussiness.
Gustavia Lui
Gustavia Lui 6 aylar önce
This actually made me teary eyed 😢 but such an awesome lesson!
Faith Ryan
Faith Ryan Yıl önce
I love how casual, but Business-like dressed she is, it really shows she is willing to open up, but not mess around when it comes to getting work done
Sierra Lewis
Sierra Lewis 3 yıl önce
“Perfectionism is the enemy of action”.... I started crying because that’s me. Your absolutely right. I feels so called out
Samantha Kim Manoban
Samantha Kim Manoban Yıl önce
Me too.
Monica Cespedes
Monica Cespedes 3 yıl önce
OMG me too.....
Nansi Dasheva
Nansi Dasheva Yıl önce
Left me speechless. It was such a necessary and genuine life insight. Thank you, Ashley Stahl!
Michelle Galindo
Michelle Galindo Yıl önce
I am sorry to my younger self for missing out on accomplishing and obtaining what it meed it because of fear! Thank you for this TED talk truly
Laura Yıl önce
Easier to do when you have a family that loves you and is there for you. Being alone in the world and knowing that nobody will be there if you fall not that you will need them but having that gives you a strength. Having a family but one that is neglectful and downright mean might be worse than being alone. But I have survived difficult times without there love and support. With Gods Love and my guardian Angels I am still moving ahead and taking one day at a time. And i have learned that I am stronger and more able than I felt that I was. I can do this life and do it well and survive the trials that come along the way as they will. The Love of my Son drives me
Sasha Rose
Sasha Rose 2 aylar önce
I haven’t stopped crying since the beginning. This is so moving.
R JA Yıl önce
I wish I saw this a few years ago. Nvm I believe I saw it at the right time. What an inspirational speech. This gave me a heads up at a time I am actually feeling very low. Thank you!
Unxpekted 3 yıl önce
This was unbelievably powerful and clearly not ironic that I heard this tonight. As I've been depressed and suicidal kidnapping my life in a direction I hate. Time to take my life back, thank you for this gem tonight!
Chinyere Nwankwo
Chinyere Nwankwo 2 yıl önce
@Nill How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling better
Devorah Garland
Devorah Garland 2 yıl önce
You may feel lost and alone, but you have yourself. You have the whole universe of hidden energies to draw on. Don't give up on you. Find a way to meet your needs, don't wait for someone else to. Find out what you really enjoy, that is this speaker's message. And lovingly pursue whatever it is, if only because your wants and needs are important.
Nill 3 yıl önce
l've been the same, feel totally lost, with no one at all
Jool005 3 yıl önce
Unxpekted - I hope you are doing well, and keep going from strength to strength one step at a time.
elliematt Yıl önce
Pain is a trampoline. Launching me into my next stage in life. This sums up everything ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Ikhlas Ben Hmida
Ikhlas Ben Hmida Yıl önce
Beautiful message. It's never too late to make a YOU-turn!
J B Yıl önce
There needs to be a group where all the listeners of this video can go to networking, connect, and thrive. I would be grateful to know that there are others going through this with me, but just somewhere else.
Honney bebs Dueñas
Honney bebs Dueñas Aylar önce
I can truly relate to this video because now in my situation i have hard time to figure out what i really want in my life, where am i good at, what should i do to be successful. Im so confused with myself because i feel so scared to make a mistakes and fail just like what she said about perfectionism. Perfectionism is a mask we all wear when we're afraid of failure and i can say I'm always wearing a mask but after I watched the video i learned that being afraid of failure is more difficult when you finding yourself. Be free and try things that makes your life peaceful.
Ronald Luijten
Ronald Luijten Yıl önce
This is one of the best TED talks I have seen in 2 or 3 years. Great quotes: "What do you know that you wish you didn't know?" "Pain is often a trampoline to get you into the next stage in your life" and "Perfectionism comes from fear of failure". Btw, I am a perfectionist.
Saythetruth 13
Saythetruth 13 Yıl önce
So you wear a mask all day long?
Trina Biswas
Trina Biswas 6 aylar önce
I wish one day I will speak like her in front of huge audience and inspire them.
Sky Jeanne
Sky Jeanne Yıl önce
As an infp, i was born as feelers. I always know what feels good to me, and I follow it. It will still be the hardest path we will ever take but honestly, i don't think there's any easy path in this world, so what's the big deal, in the end we always have to work hard in the process, either we're wrong or right, so I start to stop listening to my fear.
Tri Maulidya
Tri Maulidya 5 aylar önce
It's amazing speech, so emotional and inspirational. ❤✨
cellard00r Yıl önce
I really needed this today. It resonates with my soul ♡ thank you!
Marc Eden
Marc Eden Yıl önce
Fantastic talk. I try and apply these principles all the time, the the doubt or fear bites. Something that i was taught many years ago, very simple. If we need to know what to do. This works amazing. Us humans love to control everything, but in reality we have no control. So when i get stuck i sit quietly and just ask the question. What do i need next. Then i just stay open to the signs and what comes my way, and as she says. If it makes me feel good i go with it. I have no idea where it will take me but i just stay open. Its amazing through such a simple action, the ``right people come along`` or new opportunities.
Jen Clay
Jen Clay 3 yıl önce
"Clarity comes from engagement, it does not come from thought" might be some of the best advice I've heard in a LONG time
Positive Psychology Life Coach
Positive Psychology Life Coach Yıl önce
Yes! Action is a shortcut to answers
Sea Star
Sea Star 2 yıl önce
For me too !
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